Mental Meanderings

I like this...

2009-04-26T14:58:00.000-07:00

Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind.

Dr. Seuss
US author & illustrator (1904 - 1991)

picked off: The Quotations Page

2009-04-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hi gang of 2...today is another day, and I got to sleep for 6 hours straight--no interruptions until 5:00 this morning! That was the longest sleep spell I've had in years. It sure makes a difference in my attitude!

So, today I have applied for 3 more positions, one part time and one full time, plus I've found a lot of openings in the federal government sector for which I'm qualified...in Homeland Security. Maybe it will be a job where I get to wear a uniform and have a sniffing dog with me and I get to look real mean and tough.

A Short Summary of the last Few Months

2009-04-21T01:33:00.000-07:00

So, with good intentions I last wrote that I hoped I could write more often. Here it is, late April, and I haven’t even sent Holiday letters I thought I would write back at Christmas, let alone write something my neglected, old, underwhelmingly-designed blog.
Hoping to not bore too much, by writing all the gory details, here is a synopsis of our lives since the first of this year.

January—
Looking up! While infected with some sinus, coughy, sneezy, awful illness of some kind, I got a job!! When we decided to refinance our home mortgage, I got into a conversation with our loan officer who basically offered me a job at his mortgage company. I started on the 15th of January and really enjoyed my re-entry to the work world. The mortgage industry is now filled with all kinds of regulations and policies designed to keep those bad mortgages from crashing our economy again, and it was a lot to learn. But I was happy—we were a two income family again and had good child care for before/after school care, and I could begin making plans to get my shower repaired!

February—
Rehearsals for Little Women continue in earnest, preparing for our March performances. Scott gets an offer from Boeing to travel to Warner-Robbins Georgia to work at the Air Force Base on their software for the C-17, and leaves for his first week away from us. Meanwhile, I barely managed the girls’ schedules, working full time, still being sick, shopping for medical insurance, blah blah blah, but we made it through the week and we were very happy to see Scott come home that Friday night! Lots of other “stuff” happened that month, but I’d rather go on to March.

March—
Performance time for Little Women!! Two weeks of stress, late night rehearsals, full time work, exhaustion, still ill, but oddly, energizing. I loved performing! The cast was great, fun, hilarious and really good at ad-lib. Plus, at the end of the month, my manager told me that my contract was extended for 4 months! It’s a good life. Scott spends two more weeks in Georgia, we girls dealt with it a little better than that first week, and the night he returned home, I spent a good part of my paycheck on dinner at a terrific restaurant near Los Angeles International Airport called the Proud Bird. Everyone was entertained. We got a window seat, and watched planes coming in for landing, plus got to see the stationary display of old war birds. All four of us loved it, and the 5 cats who moved from plane to plane playing in the grass and catching bugs. The food and service were fabulous!
Emily gets a goal in soccer; Sarah takes the entrance exam for the nearby academy that is rated the #2 school in the nation for academics. It’s a 7th through 12th grade school, is only a few blocks from our house, and is a public school. She is excited; she feels really good about how she did on the exam.

April--
So, after these two weeks in Georgia, Scott now looks forward to two more work days at Boeing, when he says he’s 85% sure he’ll get let go. Fortunately for him, DreamWorks SKG Animation called him while he was in Georgia, held a phone interview with him and hired him to start the week after he returned home from Georgia. Yippee!! Animation means he gets to return to his dream of working in computer animation again! Salary? ½ of what he makes at Boeing. But I’m working, we’re getting a decent Income Tax refund, and he’ll get benefits!! Paid days off soon, instant health insurance, free breakfasts and lunches at the DreamWorks cafeteria. Yippee again! Ok, so it will mean 11.5 hours every day away from us, no assistant coaching for Emily’s soccer team, getting home after 7:00 pm every night of the week, very little weekly time with the family. But Yippee, he’s happy again! So, he starts work at DreamWorks the week of April 6th, driving 40 miles each way to work every day. But he love sit and that counts for a lot. We’ll make it financially after some adjustments to our budget. With my job, we’ll make it. The girls are ecstatic; they’ll get to go with Daddy to work on Take your Kids to Work day, April 23rd. They’ll have “cool” rights with their dad working in the movie industry. He’ll be working on Shrek 4 (so far titled, “Shrek Goes Fourth”), and they’ll probably get to see it before all their school buddies.

The weekend of my birthday (April 13th) was great. Scott and I got a beautiful date night that weekend. Sunday was very pleasant and Monday on my actual birthday, the folks at my job sang to me and brought me a beautiful delicious cake.

April 14th, we get a letter in the mail from Oxford Academy, telling us that Sarah did not make it into the school. She wasn’t one of the 200 top scorers to gain acceptance to this prestigious school. I think I was more disappointed than she was.

Enter Wednesday April 15th. Tax Day! In the afternoon, my manager wanted to speak with me privately. I felt as if I was going to the Principal’s office for some kind of discipline. She told me she’d have to lay me off as of right then. I couldn’t even finish out the day. I was to pack my things and go, but I’d be paid for that day. Part time working wasn’t even an option. The “new sheriff in town” as she called the company that recently purchased our company, had decided that they were going to centralize all mortgage loan processing, and as I was a contract worker, I was to be let go first. In a weird twist of logic, and on one hand, I’d never been #1 before, and now I am! (um, yippee). On the other hand, where we had thought we’d be at least at 75% of Scott’s Boeing salary, now we’d be less than half of his salary. My pay would no longer make up for any part of his lost salary by going to DreamWorks from Boeing. It’s a good thing we did refinance; at least Scott’s salary will now cover the mortgage. Not anything more, but at least we’ll make our house payment.

I’m 51 years old plus a week. I’ve been out of the workforce, except for this past three months, for over 12 years. In this economy I’m going to find another job? Yes. I have to do just that. It’s going to be hard. So, if you hear of any administrative job openings, pass them my way…

Other than that, everything’s just peachy! I’ve stayed up tonight way too late to write this, and I’m not feeling too great (the cough that started in January has not gone away yet, plus I’m having some trouble with my foot and left leg), so I’d better try to get some sleep. After all, tomorrow is another day, and I need to be fresh to face it!

My love to all.

A New Twist

2009-02-05T08:26:00.001-08:00

Well Howdy there!!

Asking me how I am is taking a chance on having your ear bent, your shoulder dampened and your time stolen!

There have been a few twists in the Mankey family life just in the last 48 hrs!

I have three minutes to tell you all about it so get your tea/coffee/wine and I'll type as fast as I can (forgive typos, I may not correct them)

First, three weeks ago we got a puppy. She's a darling little Malti-poo (Maltese and poodle) with a little teddy bear face. She's black with white on her nose, under her eyes, on her ruff and on the tips of her toes. She's feisty, too. Barks at Hamlet all the time. Wants to play with him. He just growls at her, teaching her some boundaries. She's a pain in the butt tho....I think she's really a "shitty-poo" She can't seem to get that concept of pooping OUTSIDE...why just this morning she left a little present on my pile of clothes that need to go to the dry cleaners! Bless her heart!

I've been sick with the flu and a sinus infection since the first of the year. I'm on my 2nd round of meds and I think it's getting worse instead of better. In the third week of being sick, I got a job! Yippee! part time, no bennies, but great pay--9:am to 1:pm. at a mortgage company only 10 minutes from home. I really am enjoying it and the people are great. Of course I was ill, so thick headed and coughing up a lung every 10 minutes or so I'm sure wasn't appealing to my coworkers. However, they are grooming me to do funding while the woman training me is on mat leave from June to whenever. I'll get a raise then, too.

In addition to learning the mortgage company, I got a part in a community theater play, Little Women. I'm Marmee (the mom). Learning lines is not the easiest thing to do when trying to simultaneously learn mortgage loan laws and documentation!!

Scott then gets laid off last Tuesday. That was his last day at Bo(r)ing...at least it was until I told my mgr that I could work full time, since he was going to be a house husband. She jumped at that chance....now I'm full time and guess what? Scott gets a job---a great opportunity, somewhere in BF Georgia !!!! He'll be gone for anywhere from one month to 6 months. He's going to leave as early as next week, maybe. So I now have the opportunity of finding child care before and after school.

That's not all, oh no, boys and girls, that is not all...but I need to get the girls to school and my butt to work.

Did you ask me how I am? Are you sorry yet?

Love you and miss you,

Today I'd be leaving on my cruise with the dec moms!!! 8^(

I'll write again, I hope, soon,

Forgot another good news/bad news item

2009-01-31T00:05:00.001-08:00

There's one more thing that I forgot to mention. We have a new addition to our family! I little fluffy black 10 week old Malti-Poo puppy! We have some pictures, but they are still on the camera card…not uploaded to the pc yet. However, to describe her, she is about 16" long, maybe 8-10" high floor to back. She's got curly black fur all over, except for a white ruff, white around her nose, and her toes, with a little bit of white on the very tip of her tail.

That's the good news part. The not so good news part is that we've now had her two weeks and have had some trouble potty training her. Oh she goes potty when we take her outside, but she comes inside and goes potty there too. Not so good for the new-ish carpet. She's feisty; she barks at Hamlet, tries to bite his tail, and chases him everywhere.

She's little Luna Tic Mankey, our puppy. She's Sarah's puppy, and Sarah is learning a little about motherhood. She begged her little sister to let Luna sleep with her tonight since the puppy has been waking Sarah twice each night crying, and peeing wherever she feels like it. So, tonight, "grandma" (me) has the little dickens in her crate, next to me on the sofa.

She's in her crate because while she slept next to me on the sofa, she suddenly just stood up, walked to the other side of the sofa and commenced to piddle. I shouted "No!!" Alas, it was too late. So out she went for a little while, then into her crate. That's where she is sleeping right now as I type. I wonder if it's safe to go to sleep yet.

Good News Bad News

2009-01-30T21:55:00.001-08:00

It's kind of a good news bad news week. 3 weeks ago, I started a job at National City Mortgage, the company that recently re-financed our home. During the conversation, he mentioned how slammed his office is with all the refi's happening due to the lowered interest rates, and I asked if he needed help. He asked for my resume, gave me their employment agency's data, and within 10 days I was hired. I just finished my 3rd week and it's been a much more positive experience than working for the university was. They're even paying me not only more than the university, they are paying me about 20% more/hr than I requested. I'm learning how to fund loans in order to fill in for the woman training me who is pregnant, and due in June. They're giving me plenty of time to learn all those tiny little details.

Not so great news is that it's mostly part time as of yet.

Pretty good news is that the girls and I are not on COBRA anymore, and are paying only $300/mo for Aetna insurance. Not the best insurance, but definitely cheaper than COBRA. Unfortunately Scott is still on COBRA until he can drop some weight and get off his blood pressure med. However, we have gone from a total of $1450 to $700/month for health care premiums. That plus what we are saving with the refi monthly is a nice little bit of monetary savings each month.

Scary news is that Scott is pretty sure that his last day at Boeing is this coming Tuesday, 2/3. Scott seems to think it's a temporary "furlough," that a new project will come up soon, and he'll be called back in March. I'm shaking in my boots wondering what we'll do if they don't call him back.

Good news about Sarah though; she has qualified to take a test for an academic honors school. It's Oxford, and it's 7th through 12th grades. It's been ranked by US News & World Report as the second best school in the nation. We've learned that it's not only good academically, it has some great extracurricular clubs, plus championship intramural sports activities. She takes the test in March.

Great news about Emily, Sarah and me: we all got parts in a production of Little Women (same company as Alice last fall), I'm Marmee (the mom)! I finally get to say I'm an actress! (ok, sort of.)

Scott’s Birthday

2009-01-11T15:08:00.001-08:00

So. My poor husband. Yesterday we had plans to go to dinner together. Sarah had an overnight b'day party to attend, and we thought we had plans for Emily, but that didn't work out, so the three of us planned to have dinner.

Poor Scott got home from work to find two extra girls here; their moms had asked if their girls could walk home with my girls and stay here till the moms got here to take the girls home. One seemed like a little scare of an emergency, so I said yes, and the other was only for a half hour, so I said yes to that too. (The emergency mom said that the ex husband had threatened to wait at the bus stop and take her daughter "away." Since he doesn't know me very well and at least doesn't know where I live, it figured my home would be a safe place for her to wait for her mom to get off work.)

Then Emily tells me she is very sad because she doesn't get to go with the big girls and see Marley and Me. Has anyone seen this movie?

I already have a bronchial thing that everyone else has had. Plus, since everyone else has had it and is done with it, they think I should be healthy by now, too. But I'm not. (just a little side note)

We planned to leave for dinner at 4:30 so that it would be early enough to beat crowds and hopefully get Em into the theater on time to see the movie with her sister and birthday girl. So when Emergency Mom asked if I could just take her daughter to the party, that meant we'd be home until at least 5:30, the earliest I felt ok to drop the darlin's off at the party. I discuss it with Scott, he seems already angry about something, and says "fine."

So we get the girls to the party, and the three of us leave (Scott, Emily and myself). He now wants to go to a different place thinking that going to where we planned would at this time take too long to get Emily to the movie. Realizing that Scott's birthday is more important, I tell Emily she and I can go see the movie some other time. That brings the roof of the car down in tears. She wails, "I want to go to Chili's!!!!" Scott, in his always present let's please Emily attitude, says, Let's go to Chili's.

I already mentioned that I'm not well, and Chili's is not what my doctor would have ordered. At all. But, it's Scott's birthday, and I say we ought to go where YOU want to go; he repeats Let's go to Chili's.

So we go to Chili's. It seems as if the whole city is at Chili's, which convinces me we should have stuck with our original plans to go where we wanted to in the first place. The wait was long, the service took awhile--it just appeared that the entire restaurant staff came unprepared for the Friday night crowd that showed up at their doorstep.

It was so not a Happy birthday celebration for Scott. He didn't want dessert...said something about the great spice cake waiting for him at home, which didn't exist. We ate our dinner...I could only choke down a little of mine; we dropped him off at home; I took Em to see Marley and Me with the big girls. (I welcome a discussion of the movie at another time). Scott didn't get a card from me, or his daughters, didn't get a cake, and was asleep when Emily and I returned home. Sad.

I awaken this morning feeling worse for some reason. After getting up, I realize I'm getting a bladder infection. Always on a weekend, when the doctor isn't available, and the doc on call can't be disturbed for a prescription call. I know what I have, I know what I need, just let me talk to the doc and get it. No, now I have to wait until Monday. I go into the family room and smell something wonderful. I said so, and Scott said "thank you." I look into the oven, baking something, and see spice cakes baking. He had made his own birthday cake. I guess he really wanted it.

So now, I feel guilty for not baking him a cake, not preparing for his birthday better than I did, not preparing Sarah for her b'day party, not making better plans for Emily so that Scott and I could have a date, not having the house better prepared and more peaceful when he got home, allowing the girls to come over after school, everything.

I did find him a card and put it somewhere he'll find it when I'm not around. I did ice the cake--though when I started making it, he had already gone and bought the canned frosting. So I used that.

Also, I feel guilty that I don't really feel that guilty, being sick, tired, and a few other issues.

To Update – A Little

2009-01-11T15:04:00.001-08:00

I caught everyone's respiratory yuck thing last weekend--thank you Emily and Scott--was ok for most of the week, then Santa Ana winds came up and my sinuses had to yell....then yesterday, a precious little baby bladder infection joined the party. Fever of 102.4 last night, It was the week of getting back to normal, going to the gym for my swim classes, throwing out 30 things a day, eating right--more veggies, less starch, less bad protein.

The eating went well at least till yesterday. I haven't been to a Weight Watchers' meeting for a couple of months now. I wanted to go yesterday; had it all planned out to go, then felt like crap and didn't even get out of bed until 11:am.

Interestingly enough, about a month ago, we heard from our mortgage loan guy who said interest rates had decreased enough to make a difference in our mortgage payments. We started the paperwork rolling, and in the course of the conversation, I learned they need office help. He sounded interested in having me join them and gave me the contact information for the agent they use.

So, I dutifully sent out an email with my resume. Got an email from him, a phone call from the agent and an email from the corporate office of the agent, all on the same morning. Thursday I took their tests and completed their paperwork. Friday I met with the loan guy, and his operations director, plus the funding officer...and they want me to start tomorrow (Monday). They were nearly apologetic when they told me it was only part time, 9:-1:00, but that's perfect for me. It's close to home, I'll be home when the girls are home, and should still have time to take care of a few project at home during daylight hours.

I just hope that tomorrow my body will cooperate with the needs of the mortage company and I'll be able to perform well enough for them to keep me. My hair hurts!

To catch you up with the health insurance saga...Costco/Pacificare turned us down because evidentally Scott has some kind of heart thing that neither of us knew about, plus a buldging disk in my back and chronic back pain that I haven't heard about either.

I have arthritis in my neck, and a disk is degenerating, but that's not a bulge, nor is it in my back. Do you think I have a way of appealing? Is it worth it?

We're still waiting for an underwriter's decision on getting Aetna. I may go without insurance and just cover the girls & Scott. But when I"m sick, like today, I want to go to my doctor with my no-copay, get my $15 copay prescription and get better. I guess I'll have to learn to live more like my old good friend Dianne...get sick, work through it and get somewhat better. Or, maybe someone one day will go up to Scott, say, "we changed your badge, now you are a bonafide Boeing employee" an we'll get their fabulous insurance. Ha.

At least I'll have a little income for awhile, and the mortage payment will be going down, so that will be close to a $1200 increase in income per month if I look at it correctly. Let's hope we spend it wisely. It means maybe in a few months we'll get our shower fixed! Or maybe the hole in the side of the house. Or maybe a new front door--the one we have has a hole in it on the inside of the house...and is really no protection from the outside elements, whether hot or cold. Or ....the joys of home ownership, eh?

Is it 2009 Already???

2009-01-11T14:25:00.001-08:00

Here we are! A new year and already I'm behind in my blogging. Oh well. It's been a year.

9 days left to a new president.

New resolves already broken? 1 so far.

Last year's resolves kept? 4 I think…I did my best to write notes to people when I thought of them and was able; ok, I can't remember the others. According to my blog from last year I didn't make any. Well I didn't write about any that I made, so omission of said resolves equals non-existence, doesn't it?

My "What I did last summer" post never got finished…my brilliant political perspectives never got posted…well, except for that one in March. I am glad Obama got elected; I hope his hope helps the country have hope and increase our overall hope to get out of our perceived hope-less situation.

When I'm about to go to sleep at night, my mind comes up with all kinds of great and inspiring things to write. When I'm awake and have time, my mind closes like a steel trap and releases nothing for me to write. So I blather on about something or another hoping that my mind will eventually squeeze out something worth reading. Right now, my mind has closed, even though just last night I had three different posts in my head to publish.

So for now, a wish for a Happy New Year, a hope for a good year for all of us throughout 2009, good health and accessible health insurance for all.

More to come sometime, I'm sure.

2008-11-04T20:26:00.001-08:00

O B A M A ! ! !

2008-09-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

Remember when we were school-aged, and the first day of the new school year our teacher would give us the assignment of writing that essay—What I Did Last Summer?

Well, as I age, the summers get more and more active. Now I actually have something to write in my summer essay assignment.

I believe it has been several months since I entered anything here. I’ll begin with May, since that was nearly summer…

May 1, I had foot surgery—simple stuff, really, but two toes have bothered me for many years, to the point of pain and an inability to find comfortable shoes. The foot doctor called them hammer toes and said it would be an easy fix. For three weeks I had to stay off my feet. Yippee! No cooking or dishes to do! The first week it was keep my foot above my heart at all times—no unnecessary walking or standing. The two weeks after, it was keep my feet above my hips…still no unnecessary walking or standing, or cooking, or washing dishes, or laundry, yada yada yippee ky yi yay.

The only reasons it’s even worth mentioning are that for one, I was bored after the 4th day, still in pain after the 3rd week, and even now September 12th, four months later, I still have quite a bit of pain and yesterday was the first day I could wear closed-toe shoes in all that time. It's now September 26th and I've worn closed-toe shoes twice more, but this morning I went to my primary care doc and he referred me to another pod doc as a 2nd opinion. Hmmm, we'll see.

Boo hoo for me. Did it stop me from having a great summer? Noooooo!!!! The girls got out of school mid-June, and started their summer camps right away. But you know all about the end of the school year for the both of them. Well, except for their grades and test scores.

Brag on: Sarah got straight “A’s” and so did Emily!! When we received the results of Sarah’s State test (STAR-9, I think it’s called) we learned that she got perfect scores in math and science, and near perfect scores in language arts. So far, Sarah has not received a “B” grade in any of her report cards. I only did that one year in school, and I thought I was smart! Brag off.

In June, Sarah thoroughly enjoyed her week at the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Los Angeles. She got to help with the training and cleaning and general care of the pound kittens and puppies. She loved it.
After that week, Sarah and Emily both attended a week of soccer camp. They had a great time, and the coaches I think helped them a great deal with their skills. I’m sure it didn’t hurt that the coaches were both young college-aged men from Wales!;^)

Nurture to Nature (Girls Weekend Away Then Yosemite) Coming soon!
Lake Tahoe Coming just after N to N!

Remember the Playroom? You know, that room that I re-organized three times, then transformed it into Sarah’s very own bedroom but still looked like a junk room? Well, I think we finally got it right this time. A very good woman who has quickly found her way into our hearts does a mean re-organization job—she helped us get Sarah’s room look like a Real Simple magazine article with pictures of model bedrooms for tweenagers.

It took us 5 hours of constant throwing, pitching, laughing, lifting, moving and “discussing” where things ought to go, but we did it, we sure did! Sarah’s room looks beautiful now, with only a very few aesthetic changes yet to happen, like a new bed cover, trading dressers with Daddy (he gets a new one!) and little things like that. She has slept through nearly every night since we got it cleaned and tidy. We got her a new desk that she loves. It holds all she needs to do her homework. Before I actually published this entry, we got the new cover and a few other little items to accessorize the room--beautiful! Thank you Loi!! We're working on a throw rug now...an oval shaped brown one would be perfect.

I also did some yard work just outside her bedroom window, clipping the hedge and clearing the weeds, and there is way more sunlight coming into her room during the day now. She’s very happy with it, and has kept it clean for four weeks straight now. School Begins Again! Aye, Carumba, the schedule!!

One more very important thought: please send good thoughts and prayers toward my auntie’s improved health. We had a scare last week, and she’s now home from the hospital. I’ve been thinking about her non-stop, and my very dear uncle, too. She’s still not quite out of the woods, and needs all the support encouragement we can give her.

We love you Panana!

School Nears its End!

2008-06-10T23:12:00.000-07:00

School is at its End!!

This is the last week of school for my darling daughters. Both have said a few times that it has gone by so fast! A quick recap of their schedules would show just how it went so quickly!

Piano for both of them,

Girl Scouts for both of them,

Soccer for both of them,

After school art program for both of them,

T-ball for Emily (they came in 3^rd in the tournament)

GATE for Sarah (the state Gifted Student program)

Animal Training, Dance and Cello for Sarah

Plus field trips, reports, special projects…one special project in particular for Sarah took up a lot of her time (story following this part of my entry).

The both got awards for outstanding performance in class.

We’ve had an eventful week and it’s only Tuesday! Read on…

Yesterday was a hugely great day for my Sarah!

Not only did she get into a great Animal Shelter day camp that she really very much wants to attend, but she got a lot of other great news, too!

She has been working very diligently on her Bronze Award for Girl Scouts since last September. This involved 15 hours of service, with 7 hrs of planning and 8 of community service, plus keeping records, and various other tasks. While working on this project, within these tasks, she earned about six Girl Scout badges.

Yesterday, her troop leader awarded her the Bronze Award. Even though the whole troop of 13 girls started their projects for the award at the same time, Sarah was the only one in her troop to have achieved it by the end of the school year. I am so very proud of her!

When we came home from the awards ceremony, she showed me a letter from her GATE teacher. It thrilled me to read it. It seems that yesterday she taught 4 younger students how to draw a toucan, based on an after school art class she's been taking all year. Her teacher, Mrs. Ahn, wrote that Sarah taught the boys very well. She "came to class well-prepared" and was "patient, methodical and slow" and so that the students were able to truly grasp the material, and that she was great at giving praise and encouraging them to continue. The teacher also stated that Sarah should "consider a career in education" because she had a natural ability to teach. I nearly cried while reading this--doesn't your heart swell bigger than your chest when someone gives your child such a great compliment unsolicited?

The reward we gave her, and presented to her after the ceremony, for her Bronze accomplishment, was a ticket to Wicked on July 5th. She's taking 2 girlfriends (and of course her sister and parents), plus I think one other mom is going, too. It's going to be so much fun! When she opened the envelope, she screamed so loud my ears are still ringing.

Then, today, Emily got an award for her reading skills! The school held an awards ceremony this afternoon. The principal called Emily’s name, saying that she reads with great expression and with enthusiasm. Em was just adorable as she walked up to get her certificate (along with a c0upon for free food from Rubio’s). Goodness I love that kid!

This afternoon when Sarah got home from school, she let me know that she already wants to start planning for her Silver Award in the Girl Scouts. That girl has ambition! Sometimes I am so proud of her and love her so much that I think my heart may just burst out of my chest!

Ok, Ok, brag off now....I am hopeful that the summer brings more time to blog, play and create!

Just one more thing…

2008-05-14T09:52:00.001-07:00

Well, I did say I hoped to be back soon, didn't I?

I just came back to pay homage to my mother, who was and still is the champion of my lifetime and passed away 5 years ago May 4^th. She was such a good soul, and when sometimes I hear my mom's voice and words coming out of me I don't mind—it's a way for my heart to keep her alive. That's another thing about Emily—she is so much like my mom. Always cracking jokes with that sparkle in her eyes. I love seeing parts of my parents' ways in my daughters.

I still want to phone my mom for the events in my life. Every morning I still want to dial her number and chat. What I do now is, see her in lots of things in my daily life—there are two turtledoves who stay near our home, and my mom loved their little coo-ing, so I sometimes feel her (and my dad's) presence when I see these two hanging around us. It still hurts, but my memories and having her in my heart forever helps very much. Plus, sometimes I want to write in my blog as if it's a letter to her, hoping that when the words travel through the virtual world, perhaps she's out there somewhere and will receive the message.

That's all. Love you, Mom.

It’s About Time…

2008-05-14T09:44:00.001-07:00

Well, Well, Well; it's about time I updated this thing!

I know it's been more than a month since writing; my life has at times been boring and dull (which is a good thing sometimes), or exciting and busy, both preventing me from adding info to the blog –O-Sphere.

Let's start with my last birthday. It was a big one, that April 13^th. I've entered a new decade. I have "friends" telling me that I'm officially old now, but then I realize, too, that everything is relative, including age.

April 13^th passed fairly quietly. Then the next day started some magical festivities—my very dear husband and our two girls took me on a four-day cruise to Mexico! We visited Catalina Island first, then sailed down to Ensenada, Baja California, and then back home. It may have been my favorite trip ever! I'm thinking that cruising is the way to travel—we couldn't have driven down to Ensenada, stayed in hotels, eaten in restaurants or bought souvenirs for double the price of the cruise! Plus, we had an entirely great time on the "boat."

We returned home, Friday, April 19^th, a little tired, but certainly refreshed from our true escape from real life for nearly a week. The next night, Saturday, my friends gathered at a great restaurant for a birthday party for me—arranged by my very dear husband! The seating was a little inconvenient, but we had so much fun! Well, at least I did, and really, it was my birthday, now wasn't it.

Now, my dearest Uncle and Aunt (you know who you are), please do not fret at all—my b'day was very special, and it was so very nice to hear from you. I will always love you both.

Since then, I underwent surgery on my feet. The toes on my left foot have bothered me for nearly all my life. They curled too much downward. When I visited the podiatrist for a different issue on that foot, I asked about them. He ex-rayed them, and said he could fix them—in the office—with minimal "down" time, and very importantly, the insurance would cover it! I put myself on his calendar and had it all done. That was two weeks ago. Today, I go for a follow-up visit to get the stitches taken out. Hopefully then I'll be able to walk and soon wear regular shoes. I can't wait until they are fully healed—I may have pretty toes on both feet! I hope they heal well; I've been stepped on by a 50-lb dog, and subsequently by my own 10-lb dog—have stumbled, limped, and walked a little too much, but other than that, I've followed doctor's orders to the letter. It hurts, though and I hope that goes away soon.

Today I plan to make final arrangements for our school's annual Teacher Appreciation Lunch. I'm the "Hospitality Lady" and get to cater a lot of the events at my daughters' school. I have chosen a Chinese theme (last year it was Mexican). We have decorations, the food is ordered, I have only a few details left for the teachers' gifts—going into Chinese take-out boxes—and just want to find a beverage that imitates a Chinese alcoholic drink (or at least Asian) without the alcohol. I may have to just have tea, also. That will work out sometime this afternoon.

Update on the children: Sarah is doing delightfully, both in school and at home. At the mid term reporting time, she earned straight "A's" and both the teacher and the principal made some great comments on her report card. The staff at school comment to me often on what a jewel and sweet girl she is. She bowls me over with her knowledge of nearly all subjects! Most of the time, I have to ask her for information—she rarely has to ask us for (academic) help. She has learned the habit of doing homework first, the practicing her music, then time for herself. She's behaved really much better and more patiently with her little sister lately, who inadvertently finds ways to get into trouble, either by not paying attention to time, or getting into Sarah's things. Sarah still wants to be a vet; she works at learning all she can about all the animals, has worked on her Girl Scout Bronze Award to help a local animal shelter (she's just about to earn that award, too—just one more step and she'll be done). She recycled for awhile, gathered $50 to donate to the shelter, participated in a project to make blankets for the animals at the shelter, toured the shelter, worked on projects to help it, and now she has made a box, sitting at our local dry cleaners asking for donations of clothing, bedding, detergent, office supplies to help the shelter with it's operation costs. I'm very proud of my little girl, who seems more like a 25 year old at times than 11.

Speaking of Emily—she is my treasure. She is such a happy little camper, still joyously destroying many things, but at least not as many as she used to destroy. All of the staff at school tell me what a joy it is to know Emily. You can hardly look at her and not smile, if not giggle. She has a little impish look to her, and when she smiles at you the whole world lights up. She, too, got all straight "A's" on her last report card. Plus, she is in her second season of T-Ball. She has so much fun running around the bases and batting. She's batting really well, and does well most of the time catching fly-balls. She says she doesn't like T-ball as much as she likes soccer, and chose soccer over "winter-ball" softball, but when she plays, you'd never know she may not like the sport. She tries so hard and plays so well that you'd think she might have a career in softball. But I believe she still wants to copy her sister and be a vet. I think she'll change her mind, but if she doesn't, we'll have two doctors in the family…she has a birthday coming up on May 24^th—we plan to give her a bowling party on the 25^th. She also loves to bowl; I think she just likes to party, no matter what the occasion.

Scott, is slogging through his job at Bo(r)ing. The money is great; he's home in daylight hours and can go to the girls' practices and even assistant coach the teams. But the work is boring. It's a big tradeoff, and for now, at least, we're going to do boring until we just cannot stand it anymore.

Me? Ahh—lots of issues there. But, I think I'll be a lot better when my foot heals. The job situation is abysmal for me. I'm not a young vibrant darling girl anymore, and I believe, especially in California, that's what a woman needs to get hired. Plus, I still have a very bad taste in my mouth from my Cal State experiences, and have to get through that before I can focus on another job. Anyway, I don't think I want to work, at least during the summer months—the girls will be out of school, and child care during the summer is extortionistic. Costs can be as much as $350 per week! That would probably be my whole take-home salary if I did find something! I wish I knew what went wrong with my other job and could return to the scene, fix it, and continue working there. I did so enjoy it. Oh well.

That's enough catching up for now—there's laundry to be done, a doctor's appointment, and planning for two parties to complete. I hope I'll be back soon. Please, if you feel the desire, keep in touch.

The Interview

2008-04-11T10:44:00.001-07:00

Hey there--the interview was short and sweet. Two people interviewed me, and they both were very nice. I won't know much for awhile, but I did learn that the shifts would not be any time after 8pm or before 6am, and there are 21 people being interviewed for 2 positions. There will be a background check ("a full background check, including your old employers, your life record, etc.").

So, the clock is ticking and I just wait...

Thank you for your good thoughts, prayers, candles, etc. I know it helped.

Both Feet in

2008-04-10T07:48:00.001-07:00

Hi there--

I'm jumping right back in--it seems that I passed both a written and oral examination for a position on our city's police department. So, I test well, at least, and I've been told that I interview well...

So, wish me luck, light a candle, say a little prayer, send positive thoughts, whatever works for you, because my interview with the hiring department is this morning in one hour. (10:30 am Calif time).

I'm only concerned about the bad experience I had in November, and then again last month, with the university, and how it may affect my interviewing skills, plus what I'll say when/if they ask me about it. I wonder if they've called CSULB HR to gather any information. This is a very small town with a huge gossip line.

So, I'd appreciate anything you're willing to virtually send my way...

About Last Night’s Entry

2008-03-21T10:37:00.001-07:00

So, I posted something while I slept. I wanted to add a preface to it, but I guess this "post-face" will have to do.

I have seen the e-mail post about the undocumented farm workers too many times to just delete it. I figured it wasn't worth sending it to all the people I know, like one other post I did, so I only sent it to the one person who had forwarded it to me, and then put it on my blog so that if anyone else was interested in my humble opinion, it would display here, for any and all to read and flame me if they want, or agree with me if they want, or even get "inspired" to think about a different side of the argument if they are so inclined.

My response to the post is long-winded, and italicized. I hope it also displays in a different color, but I'm not one to take the time to make sure that happened. I'll look at it just to make sure it contrasts enough with the background so my 7 – er, I've been told 8 – readers can actually see the print, but that's about it. So, there it is, full color (I hope) and all my opinion, not very well researched but derived from my reading, and listening to other people's arguments either for or against immigration control.

Cheap Tomatoes, Indeed

2008-03-21T01:05:00.001-07:00

The following is something I received by e-mail. I have seen this argument written in many different ways, and feel I must submit it to you with my opinions about the piece. I'm not an English teacher (yet), but I sure disagree with what this person wrote. My comments are in light blue.

LETS ALL SEND THIS TO OUR CONGRESSIONAL REPRESENTATIVES AND SENATORS.

THIS SHOULD BE PASSED ALONG TO AS MANY AS POSSIBLE OR WE WILL ALL GO DOWN THE DRAIN BECAUSE A FEW DON'T CARE.

This English teacher has phrased it the best I've seen yet.

Tomatoes and Cheap Labor

CHEAP TOMATOES?
This should make everyone think, be you Democrat, Republican or Independent

From a California school teacher - - -

'As you listen to the news about the student protests over illegal immigration, there are some things that you should be aware of:

I am in charge of the English-as-a-second-language department at a large southern California high school which is designated a
Title 1 school, meaning that its students average lower socioeconomic and income levels.

As far as ESL goes, it was eliminated several years ago. California doesn't condone ESL programs. The program has changed to the "English Language Learners."

Most of the schools you are hearing about, South Gate High, Bell Gardens, Huntington Park, etc., where these students are
protesting, are also Title 1 schools.

Title 1 schools are on the free breakfast and free lunch program. When I say free breakfast, I'm not talking a glass of milk and roll, but a full breakfast and cereal bar with fruits and juices that would make a Marriott proud. The waste of this food is monumental, with trays and trays of it being dumped in the trash uneaten. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

Not all Title 1 students are illegal immigrants. Many are citizens (not of illegal immigrant parents, either), who desperately need the help or the children would literally starve. For many of these students it is the only food they eat. I'm not being a bleeding heart; I do, though, not want a child to attend school with significant hunger, either.

I estimate that well over 50% of these students are obese or at least moderately overweight. About 75% or more DO have cell
phones.

It's priorities and diet. It's tough to be thin on a diet of rice, tortillas and beans, the cheapest food available. As for the phones, in most countries, people have cell phones rather than land lines. It's cheaper than paying for a residential phone and a cell phone--the cell phone makes it easier for contact in case a job is available.

The school also provides day care centers for the unwed teenage pregnant girls (some as young as 13) so they can attend class without the inconvenience of having to arrange for babysitters or having family watch their kids. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

Do you want a 13 year old girl bringing her baby to school distracting your kids from their education? That's' what they will do, or not attend school at all, which means these young moms will become even more of a burden on the system. Why not provide them opportunities for education, help them get employed so they can become self sustaining, and not bring the baby up in the same horrible situation as she came up in.

I was ordered to spend $700,000 on my department or risk losing funding for the upcoming year even though there was little
need for anything; my budget was already substantial. I ended up buying new computers for the computer learning center, half of which,
one month later, have been carved with graffiti by the appreciative students who obviously feel humbled and grateful to have a free
education in America . (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

Use it or lose it, as the saying goes--and those graffiti "artists" are all born in the USA...It's disgusting, but these vandals are usually not illegals--they know that if they are caught, they'll get deported. It's the ones in their little gangs, starting in 4th or 5th grade that do these unconscionable things to others' property.

I have had to intervene several times for young and substitute teachers whose classes consist of many illegal immigrant students here in the country less then 3 months who raised so much hell with the female teachers, calling them 'Putas' (whores) and throwing things, that the teachers were in tears.

I do not believe that it is the undocumented students who do this. I believe it is little vattos who think they can behave as if they qualify for special considerations so they won't have to do so much work. I've taught people who have been in this country for very little time. They are the most wonderful people I've met...very happy to work hard to learn the ways and the language and the customs of this country. Many who were in my class got their citizenship status while in my class.

If undocumented students have done the above, I sincerely believe that it is the exception rather than the rule, of behavior amongst illegal immigrant students.

Free medical, free education, free food, day care etc., etc., etc. Is it any wonder they feel entitled to not only be in this country but to demand rights, privileges and entitlements?

Again: I think it is mostly people who were born here, and whether or not treated unjustly within our system, think they have the right to special opportunities and services just because of their own upbringing. It is not only or even mostly illegal folks who behave this way. The undocumented people in California especially, work very, very hard for the pittance they must use for bare survival. They work hard and they pay cash. Perhaps if we whites didn't have such a feeling of entitlement and worked half as hard as they did, and didn't abuse credit cards, our country would be wealthy enough to either enforce immigration laws more thoroughly, or even enforce the "guest worker" programs that have been suggested. Perhaps the country could enforce the laws for employers that they pay SSI, SDI, FDIT, medical insurance, therefore not putting such a strain on our benefits agencies.

To those who want to point out how much these illegal immigrants contribute to our society because they LIKE their gardener
and housekeeper and they like to pay less for tomatoes: spend some time in the real world of illegal immigration and see the TRUE costs.

Higher insurance, medical facilities closing, higher medical costs, more crime, lower standards of education in our schools, overcrowding, new diseases etc., etc., etc. For me, I'll pay more for tomatoes.

Yup - I do like my gardener, and I'd like to have a housekeeper, and I pay whatever is charged for produce, yet I notice that my produce rarely comes from California. The oranges are from Ecuador, the grapes are from Brazil, tomatoes come from all over the world. Some oranges come from Italy even. Perhaps if we demanded that stores carry mostly Californian produce and merchandise, plus adhere to the fruits in season concept, we'd see a price drop, a boon to our agricultural industry, and a lessening of pollution as well as non-renewable resources abuse from not having to transport these products so far to our shelves.We have the most wealthy land in our country and in our state as far as agriculture is considered -- there is NO need to import fruits and vegetables from other countries. That would solve quite a few problems at once. Plus, again, the state government would be wealthy enough from the lower expenses that we'd be able to pay farm workers more, and cover their taxation needs too.

We need to wake up.

I am awake. I have heard this argument since I was a teenager, both sides of it. I'm tired of it. It's been a decades old issue, and there are people within our communities who are intelligent to come up with reasonable solutions. They have tried to do just that, but the pig-headed stubborn people, the ones with the power and the money who actually run the state and the country are not willing to change their ways at all. They want navel oranges in the summer. Grapes in the winter. Tomatoes, fresh ones, all year long, and they are willing to look the other way when employers who are strong lobbyists and supporters of our politicians don't follow the laws when it comes to hiring undocumented workers.

The guest worker program will be a disaster because we won't have the guts to enforce it.

To make it work, we just have to find those of you who complain about illegal immigrants so much to enforce it. Perhaps we ought to kick out all the undocumented workers and have YOU do the picking for $3/hr. Then maybe you'll see the plight of those who risk life and limb, leave their families, to come here for less than what we consider minimum wage and for the most part, really have no benefits--when they don't work they don't get paid, and therefore get no holidays, paid or otherwise.

Does anyone in their right mind really think they will voluntarily leave and return?

Why not enlist their governments to make their own countries better in enough ways so that people are not so desperate to leave for such crappy jobs. Why don't governments help their own people? This issue for me starts a whole other monologue about corruption in government and how --well, story for another time.

It does, however, have everything to do with culture: A third-world culture that does not value education, that accepts children getting pregnant and dropping out of school by 15 and that refuses to assimilate, and an American culture that has become so weak and
worried about 'political correctness' that we don't have the will to do anything about it.

The 3rd world culture that doesn't value education? Then why are the parents working so hard and endangering themselves so much so that their children CAN get an education? It's lack of education HERE, and de-valued education HERE that exacerbate the issues of teenage pregnancy, the fundamentalist religious right who demands that sex education be not taught in public schools, so that the girls don't know what to do--then we demand that they have the babies, but no one is really willing to bring the babies up-provide for the babies. AND it is NOT only illegal people who have babies as teenagers. There are as many black teenagers having babies without resources to take care of them, and the black population is here legally, whether involuntarily or not. This is also a story for another time in one of my rants.

If this makes your blood boil, as it did mine, forward this to everyone you know.

Yes it sure does make my blood boil--but not so much for the issues you've stated. More for the fact that for over 50 years this subject has been debated to the point of nausea, and yet no one seems able to resolve it. Complain, complain, complain--but don't stick your neck out and come up with an amenable solution. If you're not part of the solution, then...

CHEAP LABOR? Isn't that what the whole immigration issue is about? Business doesn't want to pay a decent wage. Consumers don't want expensive produce. Government will tell you Americans don't want the jobs. But the bottom line is cheap labor. The phrase 'cheap labor' is a myth, a farce, and a lie. There is no such thing as 'cheap labor.'

Cheap labor. Sure, it's a part of it. But it's not the government who tells you that Americans don't want the jobs. Just try to put up flyers in high schools where kids always complain about not having any money and needing a job. Just try to get them to do this back breaking work. Just try to get any one of them to respond to your offers of employment. Even when you tell them that no taxes will be withheld from their pay, and they'll get paid in cash, plus all they have to do is walk into a medical center, say they don't have money, and their treatment and meds will be free. Just see if you get more than 1 or 2 suckers to say they will do the job.

Take, for example, an illegal alien with a wife and five children. He takes a job for $5.00 or 6.00/hour. At that wage, with six dependents,
he pays no income tax, yet at the end of the year, if he files an Income Tax Return, he gets an 'earned income credit' of up to $3,200 free.

The caveat to this argument is that if they are not paying income tax, they will not file an income tax return, since it will be a huge red flag for an audit by the IRS, and then an investigation from the INS. These people may like free stuff, but they (at least most of them) are not stupid.

He qualifies for Section 8 housing and subsidized rent. He qualifies for food stamps. He qualifies for free (no deductible, no co-pay) health care.

The point being, what? There are many, many people who also qualify for the above. These are the real drains of our resources--the ones who expect these benefits and also expect that they need do nothing at all in order to deserve these benefits. At least undocumented people work and work very hard at whatever they do. We could learn quite a lesson from them if we truly observe their lifestyle.

His children get free breakfasts and lunches at school. He requires bilingual teachers and books. He qualifies for relief from high energy bills.

In case you haven't noticed, bilingual books are not provided anymore, due to the passing of 1) Prop 13, and 2) Prop 208 & 209, and the fact that it was written into state law that California schools would not provide bilingual education. Again. This guy making less than minimum wage, with all these kids and a wife, and whose wife makes less than minimum wage cleaning someone else's toilets, then comes home and leans her own, whose kids eat these awful free breakfasts--seriously, have you ever seen one?-- this undocumented family is not the big drain of our resources and government agencies. The biggest drains are the sycophants the ones who expect everything for nothing; the ones who want free college education along with straight "A"s but who won't do the reading, studying or homework required. The ones who fight for promotions and jobs based on race but who don't want to do the work involved to earn the promotions and jobs. "Something for nothing" -- that's what these freeloaders want, and they are all citizens of these United States. These are the people who really drain the system; not illegal aliens.

If they are or become, aged, blind or disabled, they qualify for SSI.

Once qualified for SSI they can qualify for Medicare. All of this is at (our) taxpayer's expense.

He doesn't worry about car insurance, life insurance, or homeowners insurance.

He CAN'T AFFORD any of these insurances. In Anaheim, he makes maybe $5/hr picking strawberries. This isn't always the case. Often farm workers get paid for piecework, such as the number of baskets of berries they pick for the day. Sure, let's say it's the same guy as above who has five children and a wife to support. He's probably paying at least $1100 rent every month. He drives an old beater car that he keeps running with duct tape and energizer bunny batteries. He does his own car repair, home maintenance, and this is after working six days each week, for as long as the sun shines--usually about 12 hours each day. Then he eats cheap dinners that his loving wife has prepared with the meager funds they have for groceries...with fuel prices exploding, they are probably paying at least $200/week for groceries, especially if they want some cheap cut of meat to go with all that rice and potatoes. That's already $1900/month in expenses, not counting car parts, clothing, and other necessary items, like utilities. At $5/hr, multiplied by 12 hours, that's $60/day, or $360/week, or $1400/month. So the wife works, too. And probably the oldest two children, just to enable the family to stay in some old ramshackle apartment with only two bedrooms for all seven people in their family, plus maybe a grandparent or two, making it nine people. I don't envy that life at all, and I don't begrudge them a few freebies to help them survive in our society.

Taxpayers provide Spanish language signs, bulletins and printed material.

Don't forget the Vietnamese, Tagalog, and Korean signs right along side of them. It's very entertaining to read all the different languages in a DMV office.

He and his family receive the equivalent of $20.00 to $30.00/hour in benefits.

I think this is a very misleading calculation. It may seem like a lot, but think about the average employee in California--he or she makes upward to $50 - $70/hour when you calculate benefits. Plus, the average California gets retirement benefits, savings plans, insurance that provide for their families so they don't have to go to the ER whenever one of them is sick, and they don't have to worry about how much it will cost at all, because their insurance covers it.

Working Americans are lucky to have $5.00 or $6.00/hour left after paying their bills and his.

Well that's great, considering that the average working undocumented person considers himself lucky to get the same $5/6 an hour BEFORE he pays his bills.

The American taxpayers also pay for increased crime, graffiti and trash clean-up.

I return to my original argument. The graffiti increased crime and garbage are not from undocumented aliens alone. The great majority of persons committing the crimes, making the graffiti, and leaving garbage all around are people, adults, who were BORN here, and who cannot seem to teach their children to respect property of others. This includes blacks, browns, whites and yellows.

Cheap labor? YEAH RIGHT! Wake up people!

You wake up. The argument about illegals costing taxpayers so much money is not valid.

THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS WE SHOULD BE ADDRESSING TO THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES FOR EITHER PARTY. 'AND THEN THEY LIE TO US AND DON'T DO AS THEY SAY, WE SHOULD REPLACE THEM AT ONCE!'

Yes. We should replace them at once. But then we'd have very few governors, senators, representatives, and no president. No matter what their ideals and promises are when campaigning, they truly have no idea what faces them when they attempt to implement change to an already over-corrupt and abused system. The leaders truly don't have that much power when it comes to making laws and getting changes made. There is too much partisan fighting to get any resolutions to our issues accomplished.

THIS HAS GOT TO BE PASSED ALONG TO AS MANY AS POSSIBLE OR WE WILL ALL GO DOWN THE DRAIN BECAUSE A FEW DON'T CARE.

Having a Snarky Day

2008-03-17T13:33:00.001-07:00

A friend forwarded me one of those "don't buy oil from companies who buy foreign oil" e-mails that I am to forward to just ten friends who tell ten friends…(anyone remember Alpha Beta?), and I just had to respond. It takes me awhile to ruminate on some issues, but I finally came up with an opinion, so thought I'd share it with my "world." The name has been changed to protect my friend.

OK, Chris--I know you know waaayy more about fuel and oil than I do, but this plan will not work. I'll just refer you to Snopes, which has published several articles on this general subject that beg question the logic of this article.

Gas is going to go up and up and up---we are now paying for 1 gallon of gas what we pay for 1 gallon of milk and one loaf of (the better brands) bread. Oil just passed the $100/barrel mark--I think this week it hit $109/barrel.

People want to find ways that are not so "inconvenient" to reduce dependence on Saudi/Arab/OPEC oil. It sounds nice and clean cut easy to just boycott several gas companies--Exxon/Mobil & Chevron, e.g., and buy from ARCO. But we know that by the time gas gets to the pump, it's so mixed with Arab, Canadian, Venezuelan oil there is no knowing exactly where the gas came from that just went into our fuel tank.

The only way we will truly become independent from foreign oil is to change our cushy life styles and walk more, bike more, drive less, buy local produce and local supplies like in the old days, use products that don't use oil in the process of their manufacture. Who wants to do that? Try to find products that don't use some form of oil in their manufacturing processes, for one thing.

I do want to live like this to a degree, but I still drive, and still like French milled soaps, and love to fly to foreign or just far away destinations.

So, we super-consuming Americans will most likely continue to behave exactly as we always have, using all the oil we can, and other non-renewable resources until this earth becomes a balloon filled with nothing but air and pops. Let's just hope we don't know anyone alive then. That way we won't have to feel so guilty about who dies.

I'm off the soap box now.

Can’t Hold in My Excitement

2008-03-04T18:56:00.001-08:00

Well, after discussing and discussion, with Scott (dh) and the potential supervisor (AM), as well as my two beautiful daughters (S&E), there have been a few changes about the job I'm about to take beginning this coming Monday, March 10^th.

IT'S GOING TO BE PART TIME!!!! I think it will be 30 hrs per week. That is so very good, because although the pay may be somewhat less, and still there will be no benefits, the department will save money, and I won't have to pay so much for childcare!!! Plus, I'll be home in the mornings to make sure the girls get to school, and will get home in the evenings in time to make dinner and have some time with the family.

My friend, AM, is such a great guy!!! I cannot believe my good fortune in knowing him!!!!!

Snow Day!!

2008-02-27T09:17:00.001-08:00

WE had a snow day Monday!! (yes, it's still southern California)...

I took Sarah & Em out of school and we went skiing (yes WE). Sunday was somewhat stormy, and I looked up at the local mountain area...I've been here long enough to predict the weather more nearly accurately than the so-called "meteorologists" or weather people.

I just knew it would be a beautiful day to ski on Monday, so I decided that we'd go up and have a go.

What a GORGEOUS DAY!! Blue skies--really blue, not filtered by haze--49° F; white white snow--of course it's western Sierra cement, (granulated ice on top of ice), but by our standards, pretty good snow! No lines, only a very few obnoxious snowboarders -- why weren't they at school, anyway? 8^) --just beautiful.

It was so much fun!!! I provided the girls with plenty of entertainment, and gave myself lots of bruises. I've been skiing for more than half my life, but my brain misfired many times (like forgetting to buckle my boots and falling all the way down the bunny slope--shame on me!), and my falls aren't necessarily graceful.

Now, I'm bruised everywhere--both my knees, both hips, my waist, my arms, my shins. It's one time I'm glad to have a lot of fat on my derriěr, tho--no bruises there! I had to stop half-way down one hill--Emily persuaded me to go to the top of the mountain with her--my knees gave out--they and my thighs hurt so much I purposely fell in order to get a rest. I did make it down the hill, but my old body strongly showed her anger at my youthful mind!

During all of this Sarah was in a class. She (to me, anyway) is poetry in motion on the slopes. It gives me great happiness to see her do so well in my favorite sport. She finished and had lunch with us and said she was pretty tired. She got lucky; Sarah was one of only three students in Ski School that day, loved her instructor, and he really worked them--she learned parallel turns, and it looked so beautiful when she turned that way. At lunch time she told me with a big smile, "Mom, I love skiing."

Emily was "with" me while Sarah attended ski school. She didn't want to take a class. She said "It's boring--I have to wait all the time while everyone else in class learns stuff." So, she and I went off together. I fell and she skied. That was when she "persuaded" me to go with her to the top of the mountain. Yes, they were all fairly easy runs; but that was the hill where my knees quit working. When I got up, she had already got on the lift again BY HERSELF!! I watched her for as far as I could, then had to trust she'd be ok...

When Emily skis, the term "hot dogger" comes to mind. She just goes and goes (o.k., Energizer Bunny, too). No poles, just skis. She is so good already; it makes me wish I had learned when I was four! That's when she started. Em amazes me with her talent for taking on new things, learning them quickly and then making them her own. She looks way cool on the slopes, too I have added a picture to our group photos so you can see her...I took it with my phone cam so it's not one of my more focused ones, but you can see what a gorgeous day it was and how the girls had fun there.

After lunch, we went back out there, the three of us, and skied some more. I knew I needed to go up again; I had taken a very bad fall--one that even made me cry just before lunchtime. I slid face first into a cordoned off area twisting to miss it, but then bouncing off one of the posts at my waist just after hitting my head. I just now realized, I started off falling on my back (when I hit my head), and ended up on my front, when I hit the posts at my waist. If I didn't go back up after lunch, I would most likely never ski again. I didn't want that to happen; besides, we're trying to make our way up to Colorado to ski on real snow for Spring Break in March. I want to go to Steamboat Springs--that may turn out to be a little too pricey, but I love their ski school for kids--it's called Billy Kidd Ski School. He's a former Olympic skier, and watching the kids after they've gone through that course, you just know they'll love skiing forever.

So, the afternoon was terrific--they both ski faster than I do, and it was so much fun watching them slide away down the hill. I wasn't far behind them, but we skied about 5 more runs and called it a day. The girls got to see my most entertaining fall ever, too! I started to fall, my skis went into a backward wedge, I slid backward, bent forward, tried to stop, tried not to fall, slid this way for quite awhile, was glad Sarah's cel phone didn't have camera abilities, and finally let go and fell, laughing hysterically. It must have looked really hilarious.

We got home in time for dinner, baths and bed. Em was exhausted. She fell asleep on the couch right after dinner.

Boy, oh, boy do I love skiing! Even with all my bruises, it was a great day!

I’m not Dead--Yet

2008-02-22T09:58:00.001-08:00

No, that doesn't read "I'm not dead—Pet" it's "I'm not Dead—YET."

I guess you haven't heard from me since the Eye Situation. Several other situations have surfaced for air, and so once again, it's time to write.

First, my left eye continues to heal. I still drop antibiotics into it, but only once or twice each day, instead of every two hours as I did at first. There seems to be no serious damage to my cornea or my iris; my radial keratotomy
scars seem to be the issue now. We just have to get it to grow some skin over the scar that's causing this trouble and then we'll be safe for awhile. If you happen to like reading medical journals then here is one that may interest you. The symptoms presented by the case study (patient) are exactly my symptoms when I first noticed something wrong with my eye.

Now, in addition to the eye thing, I may have mentioned my left foot (am I losing my left side, piece by piece?) and it's lump. The lump gave me great pain; so much so that I began to use my mom's old cane to walk around. Not often, but enough to keep it in the car in case I needed it. It turns out I had a plantar's wart that was deeply rooted around a nerve in my heel. After six weeks of treatment, the lump is gone, and I can walk without pain. Yippee!! You'd think I'd get out there and walk the dog more often. Well, no. Not me. Not yet.

All seems good right now. The girls continue to do well in school—really well in fact. Sarah as I mentioned before, is involved with too many activities. She has decided to let one go. Girl Scouts. Her father and I have decided she needs to finish out this year, and finish her bronze award first. Then and only then can she consider that option. We've already put a deposit on her Girl Scout summer camp—which she was really looking forward to doing. So, we'll see how Girl Scouts in September looks after camp.

So my working life left me; I got fired by the Girl Scout team leader, a friend decided in writing to not want my friendship anymore (that one really did surprise me); my own husband told me there is nothing left about me to care for. I don't feel as if I'm a wonderful person anymore. We've decided to attend some kind of marriage counseling at least. I think things may be improving, but I don't know. It may be too soon to know.

The car still runs; the house hasn't blown down or drowned yet; my plants and flowers look beautiful, and I have a terrific support system through my uncle & aunt, my cousin & his wife, my friends and my other 3 readers.

Going back into my cave now for awhile,

I'm a blue girl

2008-02-12T08:47:00.000-08:00

You Are A Blue Girl

Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you.
You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.
If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.
You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What Color Girl Are You?

The Eyes Have It

2008-01-27T15:06:00.001-08:00

"It" is the active word here. It seems that the day after we learned that our health insurance had lapsed (a long story, probably whined about in another blog entry), something more than a little piece of "schmutz" got into my eye.

Thursday afternoon, I felt as if there was an eyelash in my eye. I tried to look to see how I could get it out and could find nothing. My eye kept on bothering me. It kept me awake off and on all night, and by Friday morning, it looked like my own private version of a GPS. Red lines ran amuck in my sclera. It hurt, too. I knew that this was no eyelash.

By the time I got in touch with my doctor Friday morning, it hurt so much I didn't know what to do. Neither cold nor warm wet cloths did no good. Closed, my eye didn't exactly hurt, but it kept wanting to move, which DID hurt. Plus, I was so light sensitive, neither of my eyes would stay open. If I opened my right eye, it seemed the left eye had a light leak and huuurrrt.

Ok, ok. I'll get on with my story. My doctor, after hearing my story, put a "Stat" referral in to an ophthalmologist, who gave me an appointment within two hours. That two hours was a story within itself, but I'll stay with my eye story for now.

My pseudo-sister Jan agreed to take me to the opth…doc, and she nearly had to hold my arm and guide me into the office. It wasn't sunny that day, in fact we found ourselves darting between rain drops, but the glare was incredibly painful to both my eyes.

We got inside, and after the examination, this warm-hearted young-ish doctor let me know that I have irisitis and uvetis ("U V – tis"). That seemed to have grown from an old surgery scar (Radial Keratotomy in 1992) that got infected somehow and festered, then grew to the point of severe pain. I tried to compare it to labor; that didn't help. Daggers penetrated my left eye. Keeping it open seemed impossible. So—my new good eye doc seemed to know what it was quickly, and gave me drops plus an ointment to put on my eyes, hoping it would improve my situation.

Today, at least I can open that eye! It still hurts—more like there is a large piece of wood in my eye than an eyelash, but it's better because I can at least open it for awhile. I get tired; I read too much. But after a rest I can read some more. Doc said that if it went untreated I could lose the eyesight in that eye. I'm sure glad I called him the morning after it started!

Now—it seems that the "in-a-hurry" doc from last year decided that we ought to just let it go—that it was merely a condition of "drying up as we age." I wasn't even technically "old" yet then! She was in such a hurry, and dismissed me so quickly that I commented to my primary care doc about her. I guess this inspired him to send me to the new doc. I was so glad and appreciative. He (the new doc) described what had happened, took time with me to make sure I understood what had happened, and also said treatment for this is important because it can be vision threatening.

I see him again tomorrow, and am hopeful I'll "see" a major improvement soon!

A Leaner View of Me

2008-01-24T07:30:00.001-08:00

Wow! Even my necklace looks leaner!

This is a web site that manipulates a picture of you to see what you'd look like up to 20 lbs. thinner. I thought it was pretty cool.

Of course I selected the 50 lbs, but the site itself says it will only change your image up to 20 lbs.

We R Doomed

2008-01-23T21:54:00.001-08:00

11:25:15 P:
ok--I'll tell you what's bugging me--I'm both pissed off and scared at the same time.

My husband put on a TV show titled what would the earth be like without any people? It was sort of like a "Day After" type of show. He ALLOWS EMILY to watch it, as well as Sarah. But EMILY IS ONLY 6 YEARS OLD!!

I hear the subject matter, about how the electricity would gradually stop, and how it would take about a week for all the domestic dogs to die, and I yelled that she should not be watching that.

So, he turns it off.

For the rest of the night, I've been obsessing about death--my children dying, me dying, why did I bring children into this horrible world? How could I ever protect them from the scary things that might happen to us with all the natural resources drying up and people not willing to do anything to preserve them?

Of course the TV show had shown footage of the most adorable little dogs possible and how it would be difficult for them to get out of their houses without their people to find food, and by the time they could get out, they'd be eating dead flesh and that would probably make them sick and die anyway.

As I'm putting Emily to bed, I'm thinking how bright and funny and happy and beautiful she is, and how long will the world last...how old will she get to live will she have a decent life....then it was Sarah's turn and I could not bear it anymore. Tears streamed down my face--I'm too weak for this world anymore..

How do we know that it won't happen in our life time? Why shouldn't we care about generations of humans following ours? With all the talk about global warming happening in the next 10 years, I kind of think it could be our lifetime.

Do I really want to see that kind of world my children/grandchildren could have to live in?

A friend said, "a lot of things must happen before anything close like that will occur."

My response was, "Wow--really? Like, nuclear war? How unrealistic is that? World wide economic collapse? That's been talked about for a few months now, too. All we need is one moderate earthquake, a stock market sell off, both on the same day, and California might as well be in the ocean with our million-dollar homes that are really worth about 100,000$. Or, just all the water drying up...that would be fun wouldn't it."

My friend says: "What can we do about it?

"We have to try something, don't we? I mean, we don't know what will happen, but the natural resources are not limitless, so what we can conserve would be good, wouldn't it."

This morning, I see a quote from Carl Sandberg, "Babies are a sign that God wants the earth to continue." I then smiled.

Happy Saturday

2008-01-19T11:16:00.001-08:00

I just had a shock to my system realizing Sarah (and the other Dec Babes) will be in 6th grade next year!! I never would have believe, in my 20's that I'd have one child, let alone that child going into 6th grade and having a sibling!

Well, Happy Saturday, we just got home from Sarah's team's last playoff game...they won one game, and lost two...the good thing is that 1) Soccer is over till next September, and 2) the team they played this morning only won by one point whereas all the other teams they played they beat by 5-8 points. So we showed pretty strong, even though one of our girls did not play due to illness, and Sarah was ill but played anyway, plus 2 other girls just didn't show for the game. All 11 of our girls had to play the whole game. Usually they get subbed out and get a little rest during one or another quarter. So, I'm still very proud of them. (and still pretty d**n happy about Sarah's goal last week!)

HappyNewYear!

2007-12-31T13:11:00.001-08:00

Well, ok, that's tomorrow…but I never know when I'll actually post to my blog again, so now, while I have the time, here's about us:

I hope your Chrismahanakwanzifestivus was terrific, bright, white (or whatever color you'd like it to be) and happy.

Our Christmas was adequately nice...we enjoyed great times with friends, and the kids were ecstatic with their Wii, the iPod Nano, the domino sets, the money, and all the other obscene amounts of trinkets and toys they received. Our tree is still up, I have two more gifts to wrap (yes, on Dec 31)--one of these to ship even!

I have to write about what I did. When we visited Solvang on Thanksgiving weekend, Emily walked around a toy store with this fluffy "Dalmatian" pony...she wanted it so much; I heard her dad say "you've got hundreds of stuffed animals and I don't want to buy you another one." Not able to contradict him in front of her, yet seeing how much she really wanted it (the horse was very, very soft and cuddly), I tried to comfort her, saying she never knows what Santa may bring and that she should put it on her list, in case Santa sees it and brings it to her...

At 3:00 Christmas morning, Scott and I got up, put "Santa's" presents under the tree. With Scott not knowing that I phoned the store, ordered the horse to be shipped to me, I put "Snowy" (what she named him) in a sleeping Emily's arms.

That girl! She screamed, "My horsey my horsey!! Santa BROUGHT it to me!! He put it in my arms!!! I thought I saw black boots--it must have been HIM!!!"

I feel joy whenever I see a happy child, but never have I felt this level of joy at seeing how very happy she became at seeing that horse! I felt like a good mom at that moment.

It was just too warm and fuzzy, that moment!

Happy New Year to all 6 of you!

Resolutions (so far there are two) will be posted next year sometime.

PLAYOFFS!!!

2007-12-17T09:37:00.001-08:00

Sarah's team, the Orange Crush,
MADE IT TO PLAYOFFS!!

We knew we made it to 3^rd place, and even had more points in the standings, than the 2^nd place team, but due to tiebreaker rules in AYSO, didn't know if we were actually in 2^nd or 3^rd place.

Now We Know!!! First playoff game is on January 12^th. Even if we don't win that first playoff game, I'm really excited for Sarah and her team. This is Sarah's first chance to play in championship soccer! (Can you tell I'm a proud mommy?) I promise—no beating up the other team's parents!

Wish us luck!

Oh no, that is not all…

2007-12-10T09:57:00.001-08:00

I don't feel quite as bad as I did yesterday and for the weeks previous to yesterday, but it's cyclical. I have moments when things are ok--and then there are moments like yesterday and Saturday when I realized that I lost my beautiful diamond bracelet while shopping last week and it will not be recovered or found. I phoned every store that I visited, and no one had found it. Of course not--who would turn in a $5000 bracelet?

No, we didn't pay that much but that's what it's appraised value is. Scott gave it to me when Emily was born, and it meant so much to me. I know, it's a material object. That part doesn't mean anything--it's the meaning behind the gift that meant the world to me.

But wait—there’s more!

2007-12-10T09:39:00.001-08:00

Here I am again kvetching about me. Isn't that what a blog is all about?

It felt cathartic in a way to write about my feelings—probably not the best idea to make them public, but oh well. Getting all that off my chest reminded me of a few things I didn't mention in last night's blog entry.

Soon after leaving my great job, I also lost my volunteer job of being the nut mom for Sarah's Girl Scout Troop. It seems that my accounting process wasn't good enough for the troop leader, who said she got frustrated every time we spoke about it and that the whole project was making her too stressed out to deal with it. So, instead of leaving it (I mean, my numbers balanced, and another mom and I came up with a plan to sell the remaining nuts, what was her problem, anyway?) alone, she had to take control and "assign" or "command" the troop coleader to take over the job from me. I had to give the coleader all the paperwork, the remaining product—everything I had and relinquish all responsibilities for being nut mom. I believe I never heard of someone being fired from a volunteer job before.

When the leader phoned me about all this, she spoke down to me as if I was one of her clerks. She's a lot younger than I am, and no one needs to be talked to in that manner. Plus, she should have known that I'm just fragile enough to take it personal and get hurt. Afterall, she's the manager, she's supposed to be able to process well under stress—I'm just the flunky volunteer, right?

How do I get involved with so many control freaks at once? It's been very disappointing to say the least.

So, that, combined with the job loss, combined with the family issues, well, it's enough to make me run away and hide in a cave somewhere—but then the bears would probably control my life there, and it wouldn't be that much different.

I just had to add this bit so that all six of you would know that there was more to my despondence than the job loss.

Back to my cave. Oh, Batman, where are you?

How Ironic—a 1400 words or less essay

2007-12-09T20:08:00.001-08:00

Fired!

Yep—that's what I've been—

And yet I haven't even had time to write about my "fabulous" new job! I guess that's a non-issue now, except to say it was a great place to work and that I did truly love it there.

Isn't that ironic, don't you think.

What a wild ride it was. I acknowledged that the job was an answer to hundreds of prayers. Who prayed for this?

Five weeks at a great university in a prestigious program of the College of Extension Services, and I guess I couldn't cut it.

I was originally told that it would take six months to fully learn the position. Evidently the directors didn't estimate that very accurately, because after I started my fifth week they decided I wasn't learning quickly enough, nor was I doing accurate enough work to stay any longer.

I understood the decision. I truly did. I had been making too many mistakes. My mind refused to fully remember the details needed to perform the job well. I was very confused about a lot of parts of the job, and I do "credit" that to the way I was trained.

The first week, my director was out of the office for a conference for three days. My second week she was out another two days. During those first five days of two weeks with my director, information was virtually thrown at me in disorganized fragments that I was supposed to clearly understand and perform with perfection by the third week.

The third week, my director was there all week, and made a point of trying to train me. The training, in my opinion, seemed random: We'd start on one subject, jump to another in the middle of that, then finish with a third subject—all so exceedingly similar—and leaving me completely confused rather than trained. I felt that I had been "trained" by someone with OCD.

My director told me I ought to be eagerly taking notes. I DID take notes. The time to review the notes, rewrite them into some semblance of organization never came. She bragged that she is a great teacher. That statement reminded me of another director's words that he wasn't a micro manager. Whenever I've heard similar statements, something tells me that the speaker is exactly what s/he says s/he is not. It's sort of a "Me thinks the lady doth protest too much" sentiment. So, I worked blind and hobbled. It seemed that I did everything wrong. It seemed that way to my director and her director, too, evidently.

So, I'm no longer a working woman. I'm back at home. I've been avoiding this post like the plague. I've disappointed myself so deeply that I'm not sure how to take steps to recover. No matter what my friends and family might say to me about it not being my fault, I think it was my fault. I am a teacher, for goodness sake. I ought to know how to listen and learn from any kind of training. I ought to know how to organize myself and take the right notes.

With my ousting from that job, there goes my little bit of my own income. There goes my ability to bring some financial help into our home. The hopes we had of having some great insurance benefits, all the way through post-retirement flew away.

I have a little bit of a defense: The directors did not give me another chance, I was let go without any kind of written warning. I didn't even get to have a couple of weeks in which I could stay employed, but try to find another position within the university. The letter was already written, my computer id's already in process of being deleted and blocked. I didn't have a chance in hell of negotiating anything. It was a "we win – you lose" situation entirely.

This has all made me more than just emotionally ill. I constantly have stomach discomfort. Every time I think about applying for another position, this director comes to mind, giving me the perception that any other manager/supervisor/director asking her about me would never hire me in a million years.

Plus, the error of my ways has not stopped with the job. When I returned to staying at home during the day, ever mistake glared at me, announcing to the world that I am incapable of anything besides playing Spider Solitaire on the pc. If I hadn't noticed an error of mine, it was pointed out to me by my husband, or my children, who thought I was really very funny.

Nothing I do at home is correct, either, it seems. It's a wonder I have survived this long, in fact. I have seen that my children and husband would get along much better without me. I have had many, many thoughts of running away.

I don't want to post my time periods of depression. I was goaded into writing because a couple of family members were getting concerned about my blog not being updated.

There are SO MANY things for which I am truly grateful. I get a second chance to be a good mom, to provide a nicer more peaceful home to my family. We don't have to get up at 0Dark:30 anymore to get Sarah to her early morning music lessons, then Emily and Sarah to the babysitters. I don't have to be somewhere working until 7:00 or 10:00 pm and then get home after the girls have gone to bed and are sleeping. It seemed that I only saw them when they slept or were just barely waking. I may feel as if I've lost another limb, but I have all four of them (plus my head), and I'm fairly healthy. We haven't lost our home, Scott's employer has provided insurance that we've now applied to get and that will kick in soon. Our bills are getting paid, the lights, head and water still work. There are many more—my friends, my family, both immediate and extended, are so very good to me. I am fortunate to have family I love and appreciate even if I don't get to see them as often (or even half as often) as I would like.

On the other hand, I am terribly depressed. My friends assure me that it's just the way of corporate society these days—since I've been away from it so long I probably didn't realize how cutthroat business can be now. I feel deflated. I feel rejected, unacceptable, unworthy, unvalued, dumb, stupid, fat and ugly. I feel old; tired. Unable to continue. Continue what? I don't exactly know. The alternative to this life is death, and I don't lean toward that. I don't have the heavenly beliefs that many I know do. If I did, I might try to speed the process of getting there so I can watch my children and family from afar—knowing they are safe, well cared for, and happy.

I miss my mom and dad. They knew all the answers--I don't know how, but they did. My mom always said, "I don't have the magic words for you" but she did. All her advice, wisdom and example answered me--helped me understand much about things I didn't understand. My dad always knew what to say--even in his dying weeks. He must have known something about my unhappiness at home, since without prompt, he said, "Give Scott some time. He'll come around."

Then a few days ago my oldest daughter came to me crying, saying she missed "Nonnie and Poppy." It made my heart glad and sad simultaneously.

So yes, it's been a ride. Yes, I'm down about a few things. Yes, I know how truly blessed I am, to have healthy bright beautiful children and this "charmed" life. I deeply appreciate from the bottom of my black heart all the comfort and good thoughts I've received. The hugs and kisses I get from my daughters mean the world to infinity to me.

I don't need to hear the "you should…" comments. I've got them all memorized. Right now, and for an indefinite amount of time, I'm cocooning in my home and trying to make sense of my very own personal form of dementia.

I do love you. Thank you for all of your concern.

What a Day!

2007-10-17T17:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to log on to my pc tonight (at least I don't think I will). At my new job, there are at least seven bases of data from where we retrieve information about students, teachers, staff, online classes, in-class sessions, schedules of classes, work schedules of staff and student assistants, and even more.

I've been in and out of the internet and our internal net all day. I'm an hour late getting home. Yet I sit here, in a daze, thinking I'd better not go yet. I'd better just get one more thing done.

But I'm going to go home now. Really I am. I'm tired and happy that I got 5 or 6 projects accomplished today all by myself. Ok, I did have to ask a few questions, but for the most part, I at least feel that I contributed something to the department finally.

Sarah phoned me about 1/2 hour ago saying she missed me; I miss her, too. And Emily. And even Scott.

My dear late friend Karine used to post a daily version of "the Good the Bad and the Ugly." I'm going to copy from her before I sign off for the evening:

The Good: I am really enjoying the job and the people and the environment--the very short drive to work, and having a little sense of accomplishment.

The Bad: I don't know everything yet.

The Ugly: wearing pantyhose again, after 14 years of not wearing them.

G'night.

Working Woman!

2007-10-15T09:12:00.001-07:00

The Working Woman

Yup—that’s me. Er, I am the Working Woman. At least they asked me to come back after my first week.

And, guess what?! I am so very much loving life right now!! The group of people with whom I interact daily seem truly happy about their lives and their work. That surprises me, since I don’t recall that being the case at other positions, either government or private sector organizations.

I am a Programs Coordinator, and I guess that means that I coordinate the programs of our department. We are a part of the University College of Extension Services (UCES), the Center for International Trade and Transportation.

We produce the certificate and Master’s degree programs in International Trade and Transportation, notably, the certificate for Global Logistics Specialists (GLS), and the Master of Arts in Global Logistics (MAGL).

I supervise four student assistants at various times through the process. Last week I got to meet all four of them, and they are all so capable and smart! They help however they can, they didn’t resent (at least outwardly) having to teach me what they do, they are all likable, and are very good students.

So, we five, or six, counting our director, coordinate all the instructors, schedules of classes, rooms, course materials, course catalog entries, attendance and grades, some amount of hand holding, and directing prospective students to the person(s) they need in order to get a good understanding of the programs, by phone and email and sometimes in person. We have a great number of International students; some are from China, Japan, India, various parts of the Middle East and Europe. I haven’t met many of them yet, but I’m sure I will sometime during the course of the next year or so.

Everyone who works here has a great sense of humor, and they don’t seem to mind my lame jokes. I have even got a few real laughs.

So, here I am, getting warmed up for work, and hoping for another day of learning new things.
Take Care all, I’ll be back when I can.

Could this be true?

2007-10-05T17:24:00.001-07:00

Just for kicks and giggles, I took two IQ tests online that I'm sure were just ads for some (or very many) other products, and also wanted $20 from me. However, I found the results interesting still. Plus, I wonder if they are trying to pull some wool over the readers' eyes so that we will all think we're incredibly smart and buy their University Degree. Anyway, try it and let me know what your scores were:

The Classic IQ Test

Congratulations, Cmaine!
Your IQ score is 138

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Visionary Philosopher. This means you are highly intelligent and have a powerful mix of skills and insight that can be applied in a variety of different ways. Like Plato, your exceptional math and verbal skills make you very adept at explaining things to others — and at anticipating and predicting patterns. And that's just some of what we know about you from your IQ results.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

The Super IQ Test

Cmaine, your IQ score is 133

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you an Intuitive Investigator. This means you have multiple talents and can do anything you set your mind to. You're able to detect numerical patterns easily and are able to grasp the true complexity of the world, both in its details and in a more abstract form. You've got a sharp logical mind and are adept at using words to get even a difficult point across. The combination of all these things makes you truly brilliant.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Intuitive Investigator? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Intuitive Investigator. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

Ten on Tuesday: 10 Television Shows You'd Like to Have (or Have already) on DVD

2007-10-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

1. M.A.S.H.
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Taxi
4. Happy Days
5. The Tonight Show w/Johnny Carson
6. Boston Legal
7. Little Bear
8. Reboot
9. Mission Organization
10. House

A Grand Wedding

2007-09-30T14:38:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, September 29, my good friend Paige married Israel Mosqueda. They have been together, really, for about 10 years. This is remarkable, since they are only in their 20's.

Paige is such a good friend, and such a beautiful person, I want to honor her marriage in my blog.

I have known Paige for 8 years. All that time she has loved Israel. She said from the beginning of our friendship that he is "the one." I wondered about that, but she has never wavered in her devotion to this nice young man. Paige attends to details very well. Her wedding did not provide the exception to the rule.

She of course, is The Beautiful Bride. (I hope to share a couple of pictures in one of my future posts).

We attended this gorgeous wedding. It was Em&M's first wedding that she will remember. It was the longest ceremony I've ever attended, and we arrived just as the processional ended. It appeared to be a High Mass at St.James Cathedral in Redondo Beach. A picture perfect day gave us a picture perfect and loving ceremony. The girls held out very well until the last 15 minutes--Emily said, just nearly outloud, "mommy, I'm bored. I want to go home now." Little did she know there would be six more hours of additional boredom for her. Sarah mentioned that she doesn't want her wedding to be "such a fuss, nor so long droning and boring!"

Whew! That means I may not have to save $100k for her wedding! Other guests and I estimated that this one cost the parents about $75-90k. Watch out, Daddy! 8^) (I kind of like the ad that popped up while posting to you: Hawaii Wedding from $599)

The reception, located at the Palos Verdes Country Club, continued the beauty and elegance of the occasion. Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres provided refreshment while we waited to enter the grand ballroom, which offered us a spectacular panoramic view of the South Bay to the north. Gifted with a clear night, we could see the skyline of downtown Los Angeles, and all the way to the Santa Monica Mountains, from sunset until very dark.

I (thank you Mom) suggested to Sarah that she bring a deck of cards. My mom, funny but practical lady that she was, always brought a deck of cards to receptions. She figured someone would get bored and play a couple of games. I used to think it was kind of, um, rude. However, now that I'm a mom, and find receptions kind of boring myself, applaud the practice. Sarah and Emily had a great time playing 21, War, Slap Jack, and I don't know what other games with Jim, my other college friend Wendy's husband. He seemed perfectly happy to do that with the girls. I think they went home with a new crush each.

Graciously, Paige allowed photographs (by the official photog, even) of Emily and Sarah with her. (Hopefully one will trickle down to me sometime before the end of the year).

However, before the cake was served, the girls had reached their limit of endurance. Emily really wanted "to go home now." Sarah, who, unable to find her coat earlier froze in the air conditioned ballroom, and began her "I'm cold, I'm tired…" tradition of whine. As soon as the cake came to our table, I (just wanting to taste it) had a few bites and then began the ritual of gathering things, saying good bye and actually driving the 45-minute ride home.

Neither girl offered a comment of "I want a wedding just like Paige's." This of course, brings me great relief to know it. Their father also feels gratitude for that. We will always appreciate Paige and Israel for that! (grin)

I know other things I want to write about the wedding, the day, etc., but I need to move some furniture and rearrange some bedrooms to feel a little bit ready for my new job that starts in a week.

Toodles

Got My Orders

2007-09-28T23:27:00.001-07:00

Well—today in the mail I received my paperwork to become a State of California employee.

Yes, if I haven't already told you, I have decided to accept Cal State's offer of employment.

The package I received contained a letter welcoming me to the university, and other paperwork explaining the benefits I'll receive while employed there.

It also included memos regarding two mandatory orientation meetings I will attend.

I'd say I can't wait, but really I could put it off for another month or so. However, one week from this Monday, I return to the working world after a 13 year (ok, 12 years 11 months) absence.

What I did throughout September so Far

2007-09-28T21:10:00.001-07:00

School started for the kidlets!! First grade for Emily and Fifth grade for Sarah! I hear people saying all the time, "I can't believe how fast these kids grow up" and don't really see it, but now that I'm a parent, I understand first hand!

They both love their teachers; I completed several hundreds of forms; they were all ready early on the first day and just as cute as can be. Of course, their photographer mom did not get pictures. Oh well. We'll get school pictures in a couple of weeks. I always buy the package, then procrastinate about sending them to people, so I don't know who will or will not get their most recent pictures this next time.

Emily started piano lessons—she just thrills that she knows some notes now and loves to practice!

I've been on several interviews this month. Some interviews were for the City of Cypress, where I live, and a few for Cal State University at Long Beach. I interviewed three times for the same position in the Extension Services part of the University. I may have sent you my detailed dilemma asking for your advice on the subject.

The school offered me the position, at the highest salary in the range, and it does sound very interesting.

Meanwhile, we gave Sarah her own bedroom. I have had it with that d**n playroom! It exists no more. It now very nicely performs the function of being her bedroom. She is happy; Emily is very happy; there is peace once more in the Mankey Kingdom. However, the garage still looks like the latest junk sale location, and there are finishing touches needed. Next week my assignment is to get as much of that done as possible.

The girls again have way too much to do. Soccer for both, piano for both, Academic Chess for both, Girl Scouts for both, band for Sarah. I don't have time for a job!

My, oh my, I have written quite a lot tonight, haven't I.

More another time, I guess.

What we did last summer

2007-09-28T20:43:00.001-07:00

Yes, it is indeed fall now, but I still want to say that even with very little pay, we managed to have a great summer. We weren't especially busy, just doing summer things as a family, grilling dinners, playing with water balloons, taking pictures; we just did family things and actually got some time to be bored.

The bestest and most fun thing we did last summer was to take a trip to Lake Tahoe. Not just any old trip, no, no. We camped! We sort have started a tradition with two other families of camping somewhere for the last week of summer, just before the kids all go back to school. Last year it was Big Sur. Scott had to work so only the girls and I went, and we tent camped! That was a great time! Yes, I really did like sleeping in the tent!

So this year the location was Lake Tahoe. Our friends all own their own trailers, and pulled them up the mountain road. We are renters. I didn't want to tow a trailer in the mountain roads, and I googled and yahoo'd the internet for someone who might tow one for us. I found the greatest guy—Ed Acker—he had three trailers from which we could choose to rent, and he offered to deliver it for us!

He graciously delivered, hooked up and stabilized the trailer, and stuffed it with everything we could have asked, for a very comfortable stay. We got the Potomac, which was perfect for us. He even brought chairs with footstools for the "patio" outside…complete with rug! We were the envy of all the families camping around us!

But, that wasn't the highlight. We did so much—we had so much fun—it nearly was a recuperation to come home. We cooked our own dinners, each family taking a night for the main dish and the others doing the sides. And there wasn't a bad cook among us.

Plus, we went horseback riding (yes, I did it too). The kids and I took a 2 hour ride through some of the natural woods and near the lake. It was so very picturesque and peaceful. I was at the end of the line of horses, and when I could get mine, Hansel, to slow a bit, I got some peace and quiet of my very own. We were very tired and dirty after the ride! I thought I'd be sore "in the saddle" so to speak, but thankfully, I wasn't. Not even the next few days. It's a good thing too!

The next day we went to the beach in search of some parasailing activities for the kids. The parasailers weren't out that day because of storm predictions. However, the boats were renting, and the kids got to do those darling pedal boats in the lake. It took a few boats, but finally they found one that had a rudder that really worked.

The storm clouds gathered, the winds picked up, and suddenly a swarm of tiny little bugs attacked us, in effect chasing us off the beach. We all ran in big raindrops to our cars and went back to camp. The kids got to play in the great playground, and the parents just rested at the trailers.

On the next day, we went river rafting. We drove around the lake to Tahoe City, near where our friend has her rental cabin (that I got to drive by and check out all their improvements after we rafted). Each family had our own raft. The river was a tad higher than two years ago when I last visited. The rafting was great fun! We kept bumping into each other; when one family got stuck on a rock another would help them, but then that family was stuck on the rock. The third family would come by, and either help family #2, or just go by waving! We splashed the other boats, had little races, saw some stunning-beautiful riverside land, plus the mountains provided a gorgeous backdrop. At one place where we all stopped, my darling husband pushed me into the river. It was so refreshing, even if it was cold, that I didn't mind at all (sort of a backfire on him, because I got him back but good!).

It was the best, most refreshing, most delightful, mind-restoring day. That afternoon, at sunset, my oldest daughter took me on a small hike to show me the back view of the sunset. As the sun went down, we looked east, and saw the mountains change to all varieties of pink, purple, even some yellows. She took some great pictures of it, too.

The next day, we all needed a rest! The guys took the kids on a hike, and the moms got to rest at the campsite. We only had a couple more days to stay before we had to return home. Friday was our last day there, and we drove out to Virginia City. I shot great photos of old run down barns (my favorite subjects), some of which were barely recognizable, and some of which looked as if they'd been around for 100 years or so. We toured a silver mine, looked through stores; I did a little Christmas shopping, and took a bunch of pictures. We attended a "shoot out" that promised to be very lame. It rained on us, and no matter where I sat, even under the tarp they put up, I got soaked by the rain. I didn't care. Really. The show was a lot more enjoyable than I expected—there was a little audience participation; we were supposed to cheer the good guy and boo the bad guy. We got a little confused, and began to cheer the bad guy! The guys in the show didn't quite know what to do with us. So they just went along with it. They put on a pretty entertaining show.

That night we chose for the all-out buffet at the top level of Harvey's (across the street from Harrah's, and owned by the same company). It was not difficult to overeat that night! We got there at just the right time, too, because we saw one of the most stunningly gorgeous sunsets ever. I shot many, many pictures, too. It thrilled me that I got some great shots over the lake of the sunset.

Saturday morning, we watched as everyone packed their trailers, cars, put away all the toys. We put our luggage in our car, and were ready to go.

The drive home was nearly uneventful. We had to stop a couple of times to re-load the bicycles on the bike. We stopped at our friends' aunt to help load some furniture they took home, and then we stopped one more time at Harris Ranch, out in the middle of nowhere, to have dinner. Dinner was great, and I got a head start on some more Christmas shopping.

So, we got home, late in the evening, tired, dirty, happy and refreshed. It seems so long ago, now.

Partial update

2007-09-25T08:54:00.001-07:00

It's been quite awhile, and there is much to write-

What we did last summer,

What I did throughout September so far,

How Scott did get a job

My carpal tunnel surgeries

However, well, there really are reasons I haven't posted. I wasn't able to type very well, I was tired from the pain meds, I'd look at the pc and get overwhelmed, since there were so many other things to write, pay, send, yada yada, and I'd have to go take a nap. After I got my real work done (which really never was quite "done"), it seemed there was no time for the blogosphere.

So—I'll try to do several posts at the same time. But they will be individual posts, just on the same day. (ok, since I started this on the 17^th of September, I guess they will be on different days.)

I'll start with the shortest one.

Scott got a job!! The end. Kidding…He works as a contractor at Boeing in Long Beach, just 15 minutes away. The benefits package appeared at first to be great; now it doesn't exist. It's ok, though, we have a plan that I'll write about further on a different post fairly soon.

A description of my carpal tunnel release surgery: For many years, I've been warned by several different hand specialists that I'd probably need this surgery. This year, I had noticed that the feeling in my fingers had significantly decreased. I'd type, and my hands would go numb within just a few minutes. I'd drive and just holding up my hand on the steering wheel caused pain and tingling in both arms. I'd hold the steering wheel with one hand, let the other hand hang down and shake it to get some feeling back. I'd do the same thing for the other hand. Carrying things was especially painful. Any time I had to curl my fingers to carry a bag with a handle, for example, my fingers would hurt and tingle.

Long story short, this year a surgeon said that the next thing to happen would be that my hands would lose muscle tissue. Muscles don't regenerate. Once you lose use of your muscles, there goes the usefulness of your hands. He stated my condition was "severe" and that I'd most likely lose muscle soon. He convinced me to have the surgery.

We did the left hand first, which didn't seem so difficult. I didn't need a lot of pain meds, but it was nice to have them, "just in case." When we did the right hand, it was very different. First of all, I'm right-handed. I found out just how right-handed I am!

((((((( Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Things You've Been Putting Off )))))))

2007-09-25T08:44:00.001-07:00

Cleaning the Garage
Getting my master's degree
Journaling
Reading my "get out of debt" books
Going through my dad's things
Sewing projects
Hanging pictures after painting the house, um, 3 years ago
Changing my parents coinage into dollars and getting a CD account
Finishing my 2dd's rooms
Reorganizing my closet for work

Ten on Tuesday

2007-09-18T10:37:00.001-07:00

Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Things You Do When You Have Nothing Else to Do

Hmm…I truly believe I have never had "nothing else to do!"

Play computer games
Play Zuma the video Xbox 360 game
Read
Sleep
Sew
Needlepoint
Browse travel web sites
Almost there…
Walk the dog
Water my plants
Talk on the phone

So these are really things I do to avoid what I'm supposed to do.

Scattergories

2007-09-17T14:49:00.001-07:00

Lifted from Leah, who got it from someone else:

The idea is to answer the question with a word that starts with the same letter your name does.

What is your name? Charmaine

4-letter word: Chap

Vehicle: CLK-Class Mercedes Benz (ok, corvette)

TV Show: Cheers

City: Chicago

Boy Name: Charles

Girl Name: Christine

Alcoholic Drink: Champagne

Occupation: Char Woman

Something you wear: um, clothes?

Celebrity: Charlese Theron

Food: cherries jubilee

Something found in a bathroom: chapstick

Reason for Being late: coffee spilled on me and I had to go home to change clothes

Cartoon Character: Charlie Brown

Something You Shout: "CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE, YOUNG LADY!!"

Another Ten on Tuesday

2007-09-11T13:09:00.000-07:00

10 Cities where I could live:

Colorado Springs, Colorado
Estes Park, Colorado
Lake Tahoe, California
Vancouver, BC, Canada
Angel Fire, New Mexico
Bozeman, Montana
a suburb of Paris, France
Mount Vernon, Washington
San Diego, California
Durango, Colorado

It might be interesting to look at: findyourspot.com to see what cities they recommend for your choice of living areas.

Un-Labor Day

2007-09-07T08:27:00.001-07:00

Labor Day Part Deux

Labor Day's over
the dogs are all eaten

The parents all feel

As if they've been beaten

They took the day off

From work for some play.

Then cleaned and cooked

And did housework all day!

So now is the time

To return to routines

To work, to school,

To accomplishment dreams

It's back to school day

And moms may be glad,

A home with no kids

And even no Dad!

Next stop: October

And then Halloween,

With witches and goblins

Ghoulish play to be seen.

Until then my friends,

I'll go back to my day

Reading and writing

No more time for play.

There'll be dishes and sweeping

And homework and soccer

Then dinner and bedtime

Where are those new Dockers??

What fun it will be though

To see the kids grow

To learn, to reach, to

Surpass what we know.

Happy New Day!

Charmaine

Belated Labor Day Post

2007-09-07T07:36:00.001-07:00

Well, I know it's not Labor Day anymore, but our power was out, so I'm posting this today…along with the follow-up from the next day.

HaPpY LaBOr DaY!!
(This is not as good as my dear uncle's poetry, but I tried)

Go ahead, eat those dogs and burgers,
scarf the potato chips
finish the onion dips...

Try not to burn down
the forest in your back yard...
We hope that
it won't be too hard!

Labors aplenty await us all,
from school starting
to the first day of Fall

Up to Halloween
and then to Gratitude,
when starts the holiday
shopping attitude!

We'll have a New Year,
we'll think it went fast,
we'll look at our labors
and days that have passed.

But today we eat and celebrate
the fruits of our work
the joys of the summer
and each little perk.

Happy Labor Day All!

The Mankeys

Let There Be Light

2007-09-05T22:06:00.001-07:00

Electricity!! We have light!!

Monday, our holiday, we didn't have power when I wanted to enter the following to my blog. So here it is, a little late, but a newer entry will come soon:

HaPpY LaBOr DaY!!
(This is not as good as my dear uncle's poetry, but I tried)

Go ahead, eat those dogs and burgers,
scarf the potato chips
finish the onion dips...

Try not to burn down
the forest in your back yard...
We hope that
it won't be too hard!

Labors aplenty await us all,
from school starting
to the first day of Fall

Up to Halloween
and then to Gratitude,
when starts the holiday
shopping attitude!

We'll have a New Year,
we'll think it went fast,
we'll look at our labors
and days that have passed.

But today we eat and celebrate
the fruits of our work
the joys of the summer
and each little perk.

Happy Labor Day All!

The Mankeys

((((((( Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Things You Like About Your Job )))))))

2007-08-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

Well, since I'm not gainfully employed yet, my ten things may not be like most others...

1. The good morning hugs and kisses I get from my subordinates (ages 10 & 6)
2. Home made meals at lunch time
3. Working in my night shirt
4. Routine duties can be done in 2 hrs (they are not always done in that time, but they can be)
5. Hugs and kisses from subordinates when they return from their "field" work (school)
6. Hugs and kisses from supervisor (or co-leader) when he arrives from his field work. (And no disciplinary action when all the jobs are not done at the end of the day.)
7. very little filing (when compared to my last job)
8. walks at my leisure, breaks when I choose to take them,
9. fringe benefits!!
10. My hobbies are included in my job description (sewing, reading, baking, cooking, scrapbooking, photography, piano playing, blog writing, crocheting, teaching my subordinates the same job duties/hobbies)

That is some great job!!

There is a lot to tell about this past week of days, but since I'm, vacationing in Lake Tahoe, my next news may have to be tomorrow's or later post..

10 Things You Don't Like About Your Job

2007-08-21T08:37:00.001-07:00

Well—right now, I'm a stay at home mom…so, it's a challenge to come up with 10. But here are the things I like the least about my job:

Continually picking up after everybody else
Dishes—I don't mind washing them so much—it's putting them away that, well, just say I wish that a mechanism could be invented to wash, dry and store the dishes all in one fell swoop.
Dusting. It's the one job that I feel is never complete. I can dust the whole house and by the time I've done it, my starting place is already dusty again.\
Cleaning my patio. It's enclosed but the wind and dirt come in, especially when the gardener blows the dirt around in the back yard.
Laundry. It is never done, no matter what. It's unappreciated, too. Plus, the stains, marker marks, and food get harder and harder for me to remove from the fabrics.
Clutter.
Maintenance of the house—stucco, paint, flooring—I just want it to regenerate and update itself automatically.
The number at the end of the electric bills.
Filing
Coupons—I like the money they save; I don't like the time it takes to go through them, then finding out the I only have coupons for food/items our family doesn't use.

What about you?

Nearly Maybe Jump for Joy Time

2007-08-17T14:09:00.001-07:00

No, we are not employed--yet.

However, we each received a phone call today that gave both of us hope.

First, Scott's call: Boeing called and asked him in for an interview TODAY!! Evidently one of his buddies wrote an email to HR saying that Scott had interviews with other companies and they'd better put a little flame under their seats and talk to Scott. It's nice to have friends... So, in about 20 minutes, Scott will go to his interview at Boeing. 15 minutes away! Getting home before dark!! A 15-minute commute!! Benefits!! But I get ahead of myself. I am so hopeful they beg him to "come home."

Now, enough about him (giggle).

One very important side note: my gratitude abounds for you and your encouragement this week. I'm not sure I would have got through the week without you. Once again you've held me up by my elbows and walked me through the hard parts.

Another pleasing side bar: I'm wearing a dress that 2 years ago would not go over my head, let alone my shoulders and waist! In fact, I'd forgotten I had it. I was so hot this afternoon that I could not keep my slacks on, so I looked in my closet and found this cute little (in my mind anyway) sleeveless dress. I'm thinner!!! Yippee!

Now is the hopeful/good part. I received a phone call from a mom at the girls' school. She's going to cover for me and cater the Teachers' back to school breakfast on 9/1, the Friday before school begins. She called this morning, and we talked about what she'd need for the breakfast. During the course of the conversation, she mentioned her neighbor telling her that everyone at school "loves" me! I never knew. She said that everyone she mentions my name to tells her that I'm such a nice person and that it's nice that I'm such a willing volunteer. (BIG frikn GRIN!!)

THEN, she says, "by the way, my husband wanted me to get a message to you." (I'm thinking hmm.) The mom just happens to be the mayor's wife. The mayor I talked with at the "grand re-opening" of the Parks and Recs department. The mayor to whom the Parks & Rec Dept Head reports. The Dept Head who did not hire me for the Exec. Secretary position. The mom said that Phil (the mayor) remembered me speaking to him and asking about Laura (the Dept Head), and had spoken to Laura asking her if I got hired for the ES job. She said no. No I do not know how the conversation went exactly (duh), but Marisol the mom, told me that Laura wanted Phil to be sure and tell me to apply for TWO other openings that came open since I interviewed. She said that I "interviewed very well" and she is very interested in talking to me about one of these other two jobs!!!! Izzat cool or what?!?!?!?!!

The Parks & Rec office is four somewhat long-ish blocks away from my house!!! I could walk to work!! We'd only need one car! I'd get paid!! Not a lot, but counting the bennies, it'd be great! Plus, once I got in, I could give the new Exec Secretary the Evil Eye so she'd quit and I could get that job! (Nah, not really--evil grin)

Plus, I have a second interview next Tuesday with Cal State Long Beach for the Center for International Trade and Transport Assistant. The acronym for this department at the school is incredible: CSULBUCESCITT (kind of a mixed up "Club Blue Skit).

Additionally, I have a first interview with the company that needs a work from home person doing contract fulfillment and sales support. It sounds like fun, a lot of phone work (I've been told I give "good phone."), and basic record keeping and tracking.

All three positions pay the same, and have similar benefits. "Club Blue Skit" has the added benefit of a tuition waiver for things like, well, Master's degrees!!! But it is 10 times farther away from home (giggle—it's 10 miles away from home). The city has a generous tuition reimbursement program, and I'll have to check on the other company's benefits. Too funny.

So that's the story…what a week, eh?!?!

Again, thank you for your prayers, good thoughts, candles, incense. Perhaps they are working after all!

Appreciation Post

2007-08-14T08:26:00.000-07:00

#1..Friends and Family. You have certainly helped us through our 3/4 year of unemployment. From encouragement to food, and even new school clothes for both the girls, we are overflowing with wealth, whether there is money in the bank or not. Thank you all!

#2..The interviews are beginning. Calls are coming in! There's hope for re-employment after all!!

#3..The weather hasn't been extremely hot here in southern California, so we haven't needed our air conditioning yet this summer.

Ok, now on to another application.

Ten on Tuesday: 10 Websites You Like

2007-08-14T07:48:00.000-07:00

Snopes.com--required for everyone who even thinks of passing along jokes/stories/safety tips/etc.

Red Envelope--yummy eye candy window shopping

Patti Bakes---just look and you'll salivate.

Target --money to spend? Look here and have it shipped home!

Salon--bitey, witty news articles with thought provoking opinions

Eiffel Tower Web Cam Live coverage of Le Tour Eiffel, refreshed every minute or so

Daily Shakespearean Insult -- Today's: "Thou warped flap-mouthed codpiece!"

Daily Jon Stewart Quote -- Today's: "We declared war on terror - it’s not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I’m sure we’ll take on that bastard ennui."

and of course, Our Favorite... Last But Not Least

The Daily Puppy -- For a little bit of sweet (Today is cutie pie Nick, the Maltese)

2007-08-08T08:32:00.001-07:00

Sarah and Emily have grown so very much over the summer--none of Sarah's clothes fit her a couple of weeks ago, so there was an "emergency" trip to Target and Old Navy to see if we could get her some new things. I made her a pair of capris with a matching top. I don't like the way the top came out, so it's back in my sewing bag waiting for some "improvements." But the pants came out very cute. When my hands are better, I'll make another pair for her, and a better top.

She's maturing so much, but I think she's also in that stage of 'tweens where she thinks she's older and wiser than all the other kids and even her parents, and she still stumbles a bit. But she's learning, and has been so very helpful to me with my hands being all bandaged. She's beautiful (others have said so--so it's not just the boastful mom talking, I think).

She has gone to camp with the Girl Scouts this week, and was packed 3 days early. She's also been really understanding, way beyond her years with the financial situation. Every time I do something for her, buy something for her or take her somewhere that she really likes to eat (a very rare occasion these days), she always asks: "but isn't it too expensive?" "Can you really spend that much money on me?" I feel so bad for her having to do without so much this summer--but then I never went to gymnastics camp, summer day camp, or any "camp" for that matter, so it can't be too bad. She's basically spent the summer reading and playing video games (bad mommy--baad mommy! But with Scott home, and him being the King of Video Games, it's tough to get any of them out of the house

Emily is a crackup--a laugh a minute. You can't look at her and not smile. I don't know what it is, but she just looks at you, smiles and you have to smile, too! Her eyes are so blue--and with her sun-kissed skin she just looks adorable. She hasn't gone to any camps, but our neighbor runs a day care facility down the street, and has graciously allowed Emily (and offered for Sarah, too) to attend in the afternoons without any cost. We have only paid for the special field trips. So both Em and Sarah got to go ice skating one day last week.

Back to Emily--she hasn't gone to gymnastics or swim lessons or any other camp either. She hasn't noticed. She has Joyce and Kellie who live right next to us, and even though they are older, they play together really well. Every other day I'm being asked if they can have a sleep over. They've all traded homes for sleepovers, and it's so cute to see her carrying her stuffed animals, sleeping bag and pillow all over the neighborhood! Kellie and Joyce are really sweet girls. They love Scott (he plays all those video games with them and lets them get out the water slide, and even has taken them to dinner a few times. We can see them playing outside all the time; usually it's in our front yard, but running to each other's house as if they all live in all three houses. It's been a fun summer where they are concerned and I've loved watching them. She'll be in first grade in September!! Yikes!

So, while it's been a stressful year, it's also been a lot of fun this summer. I talked with Scott yesterday, and mentioned that we've been very fortunate so far since he's been home while I recuperated from surgery, he's had a chance to be Mr. Mom (not all that successfully, either, evil grin), he's taken the girls all over the place and did I mention the video games, which has provided time for them to bond with each other. We all got to go to the beach for an all-day-until-the beach-closed Monday. That was a lot of fun and sun and water!

We were very fortunate that he got such a great severance package. It was lucky that he had signed a contract with them until the middle of August--we were at nearly full pay all year until now (the severance is all but gone). We had hoped he'd get re-employed sooner so that we could make some seriously needed repairs on the house (story for another time). But I guess that wasn't meant to be.

So, that's my gratitude journal for this week. I'm thankful to Disney of all companies, for giving us this great summer together. I'm thankful for my daughters, who seem to really love me unconditionally. My gratitude knows no bounds for our ability to stretch a paycheck and having the ability to know where to cut expenses when we need to do that. I am NOT grateful for our electric company, Southern California Edison, which seems to be intent to break most southern Californians with their high electric charges—our last bill, I realized, would have only been about $47 without all their (insert expletive) fees and charges. I am even grateful to the Bank of America, for helping us with a couple of credit card balances. (Uncle, I tried to get them paid before Scott was laid off, but there were some mandatory house fixes that couldn't wait until the cash was available.)

Until next time.

((((( Ten on Tuesday Update: Ten Things You Will NEVER Do Again... )))))

2007-08-07T11:06:00.001-07:00

Hmm—nearly everything I've done I might do again, but here goes…

Ride Expedition Everest at Disneyworld.
Ride Mission Space (the Orange Team)
Ski "Shoulder Run" (Run 62 that connects with the easy run and makes it the Traverse from Hell!)
If I'm ever single again, and have a first date I will NOT ride in the same car. I WILL take my own car.
Eat horseradish.
Buy a Bosch dishwasher.
Volunteer for more than TWO jobs in an organization's year (in PTA, Girl Scouts, and Soccer/Softball Mom).
Allow myself to submit a not-proofread application or resume.
Take four years to embroider pillow cases!
Drive 80 miles on an "empty" tank of gas!

Ten on Tuesday: 10 Countries you'd like to visit

2007-07-31T12:57:00.000-07:00

1. Viet Nam (esp. China Beach)
2. Tanzania
3. New Zealand
4. Dubai
5. Tahiti
6. Japan
7. Russia
8. Sweden
9. Argentina (Iguassu Falls, to be exact)
10. my mind --Kidding -- I'd like to tour the United States. All of them.

What are your ten?

2 More!

2007-07-30T12:26:00.001-07:00

This morning, I received two calls to make appointments for interviews!

Both jobs are part time; one is for a photographer position taking preschool kids' portraits for school. That sounds to me like a terrific job. I'll see if there are any bennies tomorrow at that interview. The 2^nd job is an admin. ass't job at Cal State Long Beach—where I've been attempting to get employment off and on for 5-6 years. It's a little better pay, and I thin I'd be able to turn it into a full-time w/tuition waver position.

We'll see. That interview is Wednesday afternoon, and they will accept my typing certificate in place of the skills assessment.

I'm hoping I interview well; employers usually don't like making concessions for job candidates.

My Surgery

2007-07-28T12:06:00.001-07:00

Hi there,

A short note--

Yesterday's surgery went very well; I don't even remember getting into the OR--W got to the hospital @ 7:30 am, and were home before noon.

I have some pain today--in both hands, so am trying to not do too much--makes dressing very interesting!--and typing tires me. I figure the pain in my left hand may be from the anesthesia--so I'll wait it out a few more days before I start complaining too loudly about it.

All things considered, I'm doing great!

Thanks for your prayers and good wishes.

The Second Surgery

2007-07-26T22:26:00.001-07:00

Well, now that the interview is over, tomorrow morning bright and early I'll head over to the hospital for my second carpal tunnel surgery. This time it will be on my right hand, so I don't know if I'll be posting or corresponding by email for awhile. I know I'll be in a cast for a week, then a big bandage for another two weeks, and then a brace. My left hand didn't get the grand treatment, but for the right hand, the professionals appear to be communicating with me a little more about the details.

If the surgery is on time, and this doc seems to do his surgeries on time if not early, I'll be home by noon. I'll have Scott email you all to let you know that everything is fine.

Thank you for the good wishes, prayers, lit candles and everything while I get to live another chapter or two.

THE INTERVIEW

2007-07-26T22:21:00.001-07:00

Well, from all of your lips to God's ears!

I got there on time!!

I looked GREAT!! I think it was the first time since my new haircut and color that I styled it the way it's supposed to look!

My makeup didn't get on my clothing

My shirt absorbed all the perspiration and my jacket hid it being a dark color.

The panel was very gracious and pleasant, which helped me calm down a little.

They had a prepared list of 10 questions, of which I can only remember these:

Give us a situation of where you managed a project...
As project coordinator for the move of computer hardware for two departments into one and into a different new building, after planning our strategy, we staged the project on Friday afternoon, sent everyone home, worked most of the weekend, and by Monday the department was (at least electronically) ready to work. For the most part, our moving computers and accessories was seamless to the department staff of about 100 people.

Tell us about your past work experience....
Blah blah blah Caltrans, GasCo, teaching, computers, support,

Tell us about working in teams
I've often worked in teams; the groups I've been involved with have covered a variety of issues, yet we all have come to a consensus together with minimum of conflict. I have found myself to be a mediator of sorts when there was conflict, being able most times to understand both sides of an issue, and facilitated the resolution of the issues.

If your manager told you she wanted you to re-organize the filing system the way it has been for years, and you know a better and more efficient way to organize the files, how would you handle it?
I would diplomatically approach the manager and learn the reasons for the organization the way it is...perhaps it's easier for her. Then I'd suggest and explain my idea, showing the efficiency of it. If she still wanted the files the old way, then I would organize them the old way.

Give us an example of assisting your manager in a project or issue, anticipating his/her needs...
blah blah blah---in one department where I supported a Gas Supply manager, he nicknamed me Radar O'Reilly because I was able to obtain the documents he needed for a meeting or a phone call before he asked for them. He also assigned me the responsibility of writing his correspondence, and I did. As a result his overall evaluation from his superior was raised two levels ( this actually happened--he showed me the evaluation citing the improved written correspondence as reason for his improved evaluation).

How do you perceive the job of an Executive Secretary; what duties do you perceive that an Exec Sec performs?
As a shield, a filter, a buffer between her and the public, as a supporter who can act independently and do tasks or projects (with her approval) that she either doesn't want to do or doesn't have time to do, as a person on her team who makes her job easier.

Why do you want to work for Cypress, and specifically for Parks and Rec?
This answer was so good (evil grin)
I've lived in the city for 15 years, and have taken advantage of the Parks and Rec department many times over, including tennis, dance, swimming, cooking, and music classes. I've often wondered how the department does so much with such little resources. I know that the staff is what makes it so successful, and I've often been in the office asking if they have job openings. I'd like to be a part of such a successful and dynamic team of people. (I think that's what I said)

The other three questions were just as riveting, but I've entertained you enough (hee hee hee hah hah)

so, I think it went well, but now I have to wait 2 weeks for their decision.

They smiled a lot, and they seemed genuinely pleased with my responses. Like I said--from your lips to God's ears....light a few candles for me!

And thank you for the wonderful support and great posts of encouragement. Leah you are really funny! (she's seen me in my jammies!!)

Love and Hugs to all,
Charmaine

An Interview!

2007-07-25T22:01:00.001-07:00

Hi there, my good, bestest friends! I thought I'd write what is on my mind and will most likely go into my blog to you first.

Tomorrow the city of Cypress will interview me for an Executive Secretary position in the Parks & Rec department. I have been sweating over it since they called me last week (not only because of nerves, but hot flashes, too, I think).

So far, the biggest decision has been what to wear, and learning everything I can about the city. With your help, and the help of my family, I saved about $200 and decided to wear my eggplant colored suit jacket with a black skirt and a lighter eggplant colored shirt. That solved, on to the next subject.

Yesterday, the city presented a "Grand Re-Opening" of the Community Center. It has been under re-construction for nearly a school year, and recently finished, the Council wanted to show it to the public. I had read that it started at 6:30, but it actually started at 5:30..

My family went to the county fair yesterday; we took two cars so that I could leave in time to attend this great opportunity to learn a little about my interviewers, namely the Parks & Rec Department head. I left in adequate time to freshen myself and get there at around 6:30-ish...as I started to leave, something made me look it up on the web, and there was the time of the event: 5:30. Oh well.

I got to the "schmoozing opportunity"--it was nearly done, and I regretted not getting there at 5:30 (I had the starting time wrong; thought it was at 6:30)--there had been a ceremony, cocktails and appetizers, lots of opportunity to schmooze. However, even if I had got there early enough, I think I might have felt uncomfortable. I felt as if I was crashing a private club party. The website said it was for the community's residents to attend, so that's why I thought I could go and blend.

The mayor was there tho, and he really made me feel more comfortable. We talked for a few minutes; he pointed out the dept head for Pks & Rec and her staff. The Parks & Rec dept staff all seem so "well put together" Laura has a short dark-red spiky hair cut, is tall and very thin. You know the type? I hope she's kind. I don't know if I'd fit in with them or not. I guess I'll just have to see how the interview goes. They sure know how to throw a great party, tho.

The mayor said I looked familiar, and I mentioned that a friend had introduced me and that I'll be working with his wife in the fall with the hospitality projects for our kids' school. We chatted for a few minutes, and we talked about the city's progress over the last 30 years. We do have a great parks and rec department, that provides many, many activities for kids and adults at reasonable fees. I've wanted to work for that department for several years. Can you imagine having your office in a park?? That would be so very cool. I'd always be close to nature and not in a cement campus of corporations.

When I returned home, after a healthy dose of Golden Spoon Peanut butter cup w/cookie dough topping (can you say deflated?). I felt as if I have no chance whatsoever to get that job.

However, today is another day; I'm going to do my best, whatever that may be and see what happens. I just hope I'm articulate enough to answer the questions adequately without stumbling over all my words.

By the way, our severance package is all but gone. August will be a very challenging month financially. Scott has feelers out for jobs, but no answers yet. I'm not feeling gloom and doom just yet, but we're on the brink...

On the bright side, my left hand feels wonderful!! no pain except at the incision sight, and no numbness nor weird itchy/nervy feelings either. I'm nearly looking forward to Friday (the 27th) to have my right hand surgery. The girls appear to be having fun just hanging out at home with us...it nearly feels like an extended vacation, only we're not doing anything or going anywhere.

I hope I can calm myself enough to not literally sweat the interview.

Update and Gratitude

2007-07-23T13:30:00.001-07:00

First, a long overdue "Things for which I'm grateful:"

The weather has not been too hot here, it's been a great summer for weather, and time at home for puttering (or 'putering, which is what I seem to do most).
Our cars are both running, and gas prices have gone down about a nickel, so we may be able to at least take a day trip somewhere before the summer ends.
We are all fairly healthy. I had minor surgery two weeks ago on my left hand, and will have the right hand operated on this Friday. My left hand feels hugely better than it did before surgery. I can hardly wait until the right one is done. I'm thankful for a great hand specialist, with whom I'd trust my right arm (hee hee).
I'm very grateful for my family all being together this summer. Scott and the girls have got the opportunity to bond a little closer together, and it's nice to see them playing together, whether or not it's video games.
Every day I count my blessings for my friends and extended family who have emotionally supported us so much all year.

And now, for the update:

Summer is going boringly. Looking for jobs bites. It seems as if every company has the same application to complete, just in different order, so you have to do each one separately. It would be so grand if the American National Standards Institute would get a generic, all-encompassing application so that we tired job searchers could just change the job title and pertinent details, instead of repeating the same information over and over (and over again). I know, bitch, bitch, bitch.

On the good side, though, I have an interview at the City of Cypress (exec. secretary for Parks & Rec) this Thursday, and I'm using my friend Jan as a good luck charm, since she got in with La Palma the next town over. These are both small cities—La Palma is 1.8 sq miles. Cypress is only a little bigger.

Scott, otoh, has not found anything--yet. He's resorted to attempting a return to the Aviation industry. He's waiting for responses from about four companies, including Boeing. He's getting somewhat stressed, as the severance pay we've been surviving on is just about gone. August may be a financially tough month. However, he seems to be having a good enough time playing video games (a lot).

I HATE being broke in the summer!!! Good thing for Knott's annual passes, or we'd be doing nothing at all!

The girls are having a great time doing pretty much nothing. If Amanda wants a playmate, have her call us--we're nearly always home, and Emily's friends live on our street, whereas Sarah's friends are spread all over town, and most are at camp all summer.

Tomorrow afternoon, we're going to the fair--kids get in free on Tuesdays, and also on Tuesdays, people can purchase a wrist band for $20 to have unlimited ride access from 5-8pm. I'm going to have to leave the fair early, because I want to go to the Parks & Rec (schmooze schmooze) Grand Re-0pening at 6:00 and maybe perhaps maybe meet the director of Parks & Rec. I don't know if that's a good idea or not, but I really do want this job. If the office is located at Oak Knoll, I could walk to work!

This is my first real interview after about 60 or so applications, including United Healthcare, CSULB, Boeing, and other smaller companies. It's getting very discouraging, but I'm going to have to return to some kind of work, so I have to keep applying.

I think that's enough for now. Perhaps I'll write some more tonight or tomorrow.

10 on Tuesdays

2007-07-17T11:23:00.001-07:00

10 Favorite Childhood Movies—not necessarily in order of preference. More like in order of stream of consciousness.

The Bible
The Russians are Coming, The Russians are Coming!!
Around the World in 80 Days
Dr. Zhivago (Omar Sharif)
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (the original)
Bambi
Cat Ballou
To Kill a Mockingbird
The Great Escape (Well, anything with Steve McQueen)
How the West was Won

A Quick Update

2007-07-09T12:31:00.001-07:00

My hand is recouping...it hurts sometimes like a you-know-what, but Vicodin works well enough to take the edge off the pain.

Job Prospects? What are those again? I'm now up to 55 rejections, & Scott just got another one from his last choice employer. Now he's considering going back to aerospace..Raytheon, Boeing, etc. We're in the final stretch of the severance & our savings (retirement/college nest egg) is real small--want some winter "guests"? What's really bad is that for some reason Scott's last 2 unemployment checks haven't come. I hope the next one he gets makes up for that; otherwise, a couple of bills may not get paid.

A month or so ago I saw a nice looking 40-ish couple panhandling at a freeway offramp, & it kind of scared me. I'm hoping that all the prayers of friends & family work soon!

Life, besides the hand & jobs has been rather nice. Scott & the girls have been taking great care of me--cooking, cleaning, etc. He's even learned to cook about five new dishes and they are great, too! My 1-handed typing is also improving; I may be up to about 30 wpm now. If I can get that up to about 45, I'll qualify for a state job! Up to 60, & I'd qualify for a city or county job. I guess I'd better continue looking...it isn't looking good for Scott right now.

Thanks for keeping us in your prayers. I sure hope they get a "yes" answer.

Surgery

2007-07-06T00:21:00.000-07:00

It's here. Time to cut my hand open and fix it.

Tomorrow at approximately noon, I'll get carpal tunnel release surgery. A cut at my wrist, releasing the nerve from the choking happening there, and voila! My left hand will be good as new! Well, after a couple of months of therapy, pain meds, and exercise.

Wish me luck!

This means I may not be posting here for awhile...not too long, I hope.

Ten on Tuesday: 10 Things to Do Before You Die

2007-07-04T11:06:00.000-07:00

so-- another week has passed. The Ten on Tuesday person has come up with a good list once again.

1. go on safari
2. sky dive (on my 80th birthday--so that if I die, it's after I've lived for awhile)
3. see the Iguassu Falls
4. Drive around the country (US) -- visit all our friends & family and see all the great landscapes/seascapes and monuments this great place has.

(Hmm, I see a theme here!)

5. Be really thin--that will have to happen sooner than later, if it's to be beneficial to my mind state.
6. Make a real, permanently lasting contribution to my community.
7. Attain grace--live my five "G's"--grace, gratitude, goodness, gentle, & Generosity
8. live in an organized, tidy home with simple abundance
9. teach
10. Help my daughters become successful, thriving, happy adults.

(This was harder than I thought it would be)

Ten on Tuesday - redux

2007-06-26T18:49:00.000-07:00

See? I told you I'd change my mind. I can't make that list of favorite bands without including Squirrel Nut Zippers, Bare Naked Ladies (Uncle, it really is a great swing/ska band), and Gorillaz.

I love music so much it is terribly challenging to sift out only a top Ten!

Ten on Tuesday

2007-06-26T13:51:00.001-07:00

Ten All Time Favorite Bands...
(sort of either random or eclectic in content)

Steely Dan
Eagles
Doobie Brothers
The Clash
Big Audio Dynamite
Pat Metheny Group
Eurythmics (Well Annie Lennox anyway)
David Byrne (Talking Heads)
Johnny Clegg et al
Oingo Boingo

These are who I chose now, at this moment. In ten minutes, however, I'll probably change my mind.

You can probably see I'm showing my age, too.

Wish me Luck!

2007-06-26T01:31:00.000-07:00

I found what looks like a great job that nearly pays enough money, and is close enough to home that I could walk to work! I've just finished applying for it online (the deadline for submission of applications is tomorrow, the 26th, er, later today actually at 5:pm).

Please, cross your fingers, pray, think positive thoughts, light a candle, whatever you do for good outcomes of unsure situations that whatever it is, the right thing happens. Just a call acknowledging that I might qualify and could interview would be so very terrific!

I also found another position I'd very much like. It's "Management & Program Assistant" for the Federal Aviation Administration, in the Los Angeles Certification Office (certification of airplane ownership). It also nearly pays enough (and will pay very much enough in the long run), and is only a 15 minute drive from home.

Getting an interview with either one, or, dare I hope--an offer for either one would really help my ego! (and possibly my wallet!)

wish me luck!

Will ya Ever Forgive Me???

2007-06-23T00:09:00.001-07:00

Oh, dear. What a huge mistake I made. I knew "eternity" was in the title of Uncle Papa's book, but was too lazy to open it and look for the real title. My apologies, my dear uncle. My humble and profuse apologies!

"From Birmingham to Eternity & the Nine Lives of Papa"/// not "From Here to Eternity"

Uncle Cliff’s Turn

2007-06-22T15:50:00.001-07:00

It's my really cool and talented uncle's turn to get a "writeup" in my blog.

He wrote a book. He wrote it with the hopes of creating something so that his grandson would have access to more than just old photos of his grandpa, or Papa.

This book, entitled "From Here to Eternity," is a great read. His life has been anything but boring. From his very young years through his young adult years he encountered many challenges. These challenges could have turned him into a bitter, angry, and perhaps imprisoned man.

My uncle, though, used his endurance of these challenges as life learning lessons. He grew emotionally, and endured more, and became the man we all love (you'd love him too, if you met him).

He tells the story of how he met his wife, my dear auntie. His story of how they met, the beginning of their marriage, the challenges they met and overcome together brought tears to my eyes because of his obvious deep and abiding love for her, and hers for him. When a person sees them now together their love shows so strongly through the twinkle in their eyes when they look at each other. They've taken such good care of each other, they should live forever.

His story of his life gave me an enhanced insight to my father's life, some of which my father would mention with sadness, but would never share the details. Thank you, Uncle for allowing me to know my dad and your brother a little better.

I so enjoyed this book. If I have his permission, I may correct the very few typos and 1 or 2 grammar errors and send it back to him.

Uncle Papa, I love you so much. I've always respected you, have always enjoyed your great sense of humor, and no matter what your age your youthful presence. Thank you for writing it. I appreciate it, and know that my daughters will too, one day when they find it and read it.

Love and hugs,

Charmaine

Areas of Gratitude

2007-06-22T15:13:00.001-07:00

So, after that last entry, I see that I need to acknowledge the good and the blessings I have.

I am very grateful that we have a loving family and a great group of friends who share ideas and suggestions to help us, and who have solidly been there for us. I hope we have been and will be there for all of you.

I've been so blessed with two great daughters. They've begun to play well together, help each other, cooperate. They are learning to coexist. Perhaps my continued lectures about how family is always there, how we love each other no matter what, and how friends come and go, they please and hurt has helped them see how to behave together. Friends are usually situational. You make friends wherever you are, be it a soccer team, a softball team, a classroom or other situational. Family, however is always around you, nurturing you with love and food, always cheering for you, deep down inside loving you for no reason at all except that you are.

My husband is more patient than he wants to be, especially with me. He deserves a standing ovation for that; since he starting staying home during the day, he's picked up a lot of the "things to do" around here, and I've been able to fight my demons a little more concertedly (my hope is to reign victorious over those demons or at least annihilate some of them and render the rest ineffective).

We have our home; we're able to keep up the payments so far, and still have groceries, too. I feel deep gratitude for that. We also still have health insurance, which with my upcoming surgeries is a true blessing.

We've kept our sense of humor, though sometimes it gets pretty dark, but we still have reason to laugh and find joy in our situation. How many other families can go to the beach in the middle of the day and play during the week?

Our health is generally good, another great benefit for us for which we are eternally grateful.

I have a sewing machine, fabric and patterns and am able to make Sarah and Emily their summer clothes, and Scott a shirt or two. Plus, I'm able to make gifts for others, saving money and yet giving gifts that reflect a labor of love.

We are able, though not very good at it yet, to grow enough vegetables for our little family of four. I just read about the Victory gardens of the 2^nd World War. The families grew their own veggies and fruit so as not to burden the economy with their needs, and letting the produce go to the soldiers. I know from experience (my parents had 2 green thumbs each) how delectable a fresh picked sun ripened tomato tastes, and that home grown cauliflower can be so much more edible than store-bought. I want that for my children, and we'll try, every year, 'till we get it right.

One of our cars is paid in full; the other car's full payment is not too far off, and when I do find employment, it will be completely paid even sooner.

There are so many more blessings for which I am truly thankful. Our friends and family are of utmost importance to us, though. Our gratitude will never end for that.

A Little Cheese with that Whine?

2007-06-22T12:48:00.001-07:00

Here's the latest in the life of Cmaine:

I am overwhelmed by this job search. Now Scott and I are both seriously looking for gainful employment. The company in New Zealand turned Scott down, and so did Dreamworks SKG. He had an interview with a smaller company yesterday, but I'm beginning to get nervous. Boeing hasn't even called him back and it's been three weeks since he heard that they'd "hire him in a minute" if he sent his resume.

Our insurance runs out in September; I'm supposed to have carpal tunnel surgery on my left hand July 5th; I have several sewing projects to get done before then, and now I'm realizing I only have about 10 days to do all of them. But I'm concerned that if Scott does get employed and changes insurance, my right hand will be considered a "pre-existing condition" and won't be covered. I haven't had the nerve yet to find out how much these surgeries cost, but I imagine they are no less than $10K, and that would put us in the poorhouse for sure, then.

My job search? It's a complete joke. I started on December 21st, the day Scott got his notice of lay-off. Since then, I've received the "We have your resume!" letters and several "someone better than you was chosen" letters and emails, but nothing in between. I think I'm up to about 60 applications with no interviews. I did get called for one typing/spreadsheet test, which was very easy and even fun, but that was the "someone better than you" letter.

I look at the openings and job descriptions I see online, and my gut sinks. I don't know how to get a job anymore. There really is an overwhelming number of jobs available, really. I'm sure if I applied to every one of them, there might be a bite from someone. I'm just overwhelmed and tired of the whole process. Did I say I was overwhelmed? 8^) I want to fill out one standard application, one resume, and pass it all around, hoping someone will call. But that's not going to happen is it.

Some of these apps really surprise me. For an admin position, questions on the app are, for example, "Tell us why you feel uniquely qualified for this position" "how much do you know about concrete?"

How many conditions factor in to companies not calling me? Let's see, my resume proves I'm old (well, over 40, anyway). I've been out of the paid workforce for nearly 12 years. My degree is rather recent for someone my age. And they haven't even seen my face yet!

I've been referred to so many different organizations...one position seemed perfect for the City PD, part time, mornings, and a continuous applications process. I hit the apply button and got a "position closed" message. Another organization had several openings; the location was convenient, qualifications required fit me, yada, and when I hit the "job description" button, I got a "file not found" message for all of the jobs for 3 days in a row.

One position has today for a deadline; it's for the city of Long Beach, CA--offices right on the beach in the regentrified portion of downtown, not far from the Queen Mary and near the Long Beach Grand Prix track. This city not only doesn't have an online application, it requires that one send a "letter of interest" and a resume, and then if they want you, they'll send you an application, which will say the exact same things as the letter and the resume. The deadline is today at 5:pm, so I still have time if I can get out of my funk to do this one.

I haven't really interviewed for about 20 years. I don't even like it that I can remember that far back and I was an adult then!!

I'm whining? yes, probably. But this has all led me into a blue funk that I'm dredging mud from the bottom to climb out of.

My job experience? I've edited, proofread, typed correspondence, written correspondence, troubleshot pc software and hardware issues, installed and maintained pc software and hardware, worked with executive as well as mid and entry management staff, gave admin support to staffs bigger than 70 members, given work direction to employees of lower classifications. I've done library research as a research assistant for three different libraries. I've taught pc operations, software applications, business behavior, office organization, interview techniques, resume preparation, research methods, and even medical terminology as well as typing. I coordinated three (3) logistics nightmares, er, moves for departments of varying sizes, including combining three departments from three locations into one happy family location, supervised the re-connection of all electronics, stayed at the company for the whole d*Mn weekend to make sure that everything was set up and running by Monday so that all everyone had to do was unpack their boxes. Production losses? NONE. I performed a cost/benefits analysis for a department to find the best use scenario for the new more powerful computers that had been ordered. I increased productivity--the numbers were never shared with me, but the managers were very happy with how their staff now had computers that matched their abilities and worked smarter, better and faster than they had done before I did the analysis. I worked with a committee to select the lap tops purchased for company-wide use. This doesn't count the school supply company, the concrete/cement company, Caltrans experience I have. All of the above jobs I've done have been under the classification of "administrative clerk." Go figure.

Somebody better than I am got these jobs?

Oh--and while I wasn't "working" I began raising two children, volunteered for and let a Moms organization, a preschool boosters group (where I actually recruited and selected members of the board, raised nearly $3000 for a storage shed, and coordinated two huge fund raising events for this, and additionally helped in the preschool classroom. I volunteered for the PTA, oversaw all the volunteer parent room helpers, contacting people from each of the 20 classrooms to head the room volunteers, coordinated their activities, trained them for form completion, policies and disseminating information as needed from the PTA board and the principal. From that, I was elected to represent the parent community on the School Site Council, and from that, I was elected for a two-year term to represent the School Site Council on the District Advisory Committee, the liaison between the community, schools, and the school board. That doesn't count being the list administrator for 10 years for a group of professional, totally terrific moms who all gave birth to perfect children within the same month.

So, um, how do I start a letter of interest to be a clerk typist?

When I see a job position for just about anything, from typist, to technical writer, to secretary to dog watcher, I qualify. I know I do, but get these 30-somethings to give me a chance. I still have a good 20 years of work left in this old crotchety mind...how bout letting me contribute.

Do I want to go back to work? I'm ambivalent. I think I'd love it. Truly I do. But I'd miss my girls so very much--that would take some time to get over. This is why I think the best compromise is to find something within a few miles of their school, so that at least day care would not be for so long, and perhaps I'd have time to bring them lunch every once in awhile. I'd also be able to afford the housekeeper. Then even Scott would be happy. If I do get full time work, though, I know of nobody, paid or not, who will pick up my children from school, take them to piano lessons, soccer practice, singing rehearsals, and the like.

I was reminded by a good friend how my life has been for the last 5-10 years. I returned to school, gave birth, achieved my bachelor's degree, gave birth again, gave care to elder parents, got through my mother's death, grieved over that tremendously, gave care to my father for the next three years, advocated for my father, administered my mother's estate, found living arrangements for my father, made sure he got to see his granddaughters as much as possible, took him on little field trips so he could get some sea air, made sure he got the care he needed for his illnesses, advocated for him with all of his doctors. I found his doctors for him, since his were all 85 miles away. All this time I had two small daughters and a husband and a house to try to keep running and show that I care. I got through his death, and felt some relief, and then after just a few months, real grieving began, complete with regrets. At least I had only a few with my mother. There were many for my father. I did my personal best, which wasn't anyone else's personal best, so that made me feel as if I gave him inadequate care. Now don't go saying that "you were a good daughter," blah blah...I know I did my best. It just didn't seem good enough even at the time.

All that time, I've dealt with my own health issues, as well. I don't even tell my husband about them all...he's tired of hearing about it. I've had 3 surgeries (2 c-sections and gall bladder), and get to look forward to 2 more. Plus, I'm old--for each decade I've lived I have 1.5 pills to swallow. Some for pain, some for supposed energy, some to just get through the day, and one to counteract some of the side effects of the others.

What's the reward? one year later nearly exactly, we are both out of work and income. I'm overwhelmed with the job search, trying to lose weight so that I'll look presentable for an interview that may never happen, doing more projects at home (making gifts, e.g.) to save money, and trying to keep two kids entertained all day and hope they forget they wanted to attend several summer camps this year. Piano lessons will probably stop for the summer; although Sarah really does need something to do to spend her time. Going to the beach here costs $10 for parking--we might have to "create" a beach in our back yard. Gas is $3.20 a gallon, so travel, at $70/tank, will be limited. Thank goodness we've already paid for the trailer we are renting to go to Lake Tahoe for the last week of the summer!

Then, in September, when the insurance runs out, the severance money runs out, and we are down to our paltry savings, the girls return to school, where we all know the dollar hemorrhage begins again...$25 for each soccer team, new cleats, new uniforms, piano lessons again, "contribution" to the school, PTA, teams, etc. ad nausea.

So, if I have seemed distant, impersonal, not as warm and fuzzy as I want to be, perhaps this explains in a little way why.s

I'd better quit now, or I may find a way for Scott to inherit my life insurance! (kidding)

Ok, Ok, that's enough for one mouthful. I think I'll get dressed and go for a walk in the nice warm sun.

10 Favorite Movies to Quote

2007-06-19T11:34:00.001-07:00

"There ain't no rules in a knife fight" (Paul Newman from Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid) "I can't swiiimmmmm" (Robert Redford from Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid)
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die." (Mandy Pantinkin, Princess Bride)
"We all f_*_ up our children somehow dahlin'; it's just a mystery how we did it." (The mom , Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood)
"Multipass." (Lila Davidovich, The Fifth Element)
"Be the Ball" (Woody Allen, Ants)
"You are my density" (Crispin Glover, Back to the Future)
"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning" –with variations on the scent smelled--(Robert Duvall, Apocalypse Now)
"Zed's dead, baby, Zed's Dead" (Bruce Willis, Pulp Fiction)
"I love you too, Pumpkin" (Mercedes Reuhl, Pulp Fiction)
"This is a fi- dollah milk shake? You got to be kiddin' me!" (John Travolta, Pulp Fiction) and the one about "A royale with cheese—What do they have at Burger King? I don't know, I didn't go to Burger King.)

Sneaky way to get in more than 10, eh? 8^)

A nasty Dream

2007-06-17T04:14:00.001-07:00

hi--

We've had a great weekend--Sarah, Emily and I went on a Girl Scout excursion all day yesterday. We took a train to the 4th California Mission, San Juan Capistrano, took a guided tour of the whole place and wandered around. We ate at Ruby's Diner--a hamburger joint somewhat like Johnny Rockets, but less expensive, played tag at a park (yes the grownups played too). We went on a treasure hunt back at the mission, and toured the old pueblo town across the rr tracks. Then we took the train back home. Some of us went to dinner together at a pretty good coffee shop on the way home. All in all, we were gone from home about 14 hours. Scott had a pretty good day himself, getting the house to himself to do whatever he wanted (early Father's Day gift?).

I went to bed early. I awake from an awful dream at 3:30, and now I can't sleep. The dream was that I group of us, families, went to the beach to see some unusual waves. The kids played in the shallow part, and the adults sat pretty close to the shore to watch the kids and the waves. Suddenly, the water receded from the shore, very fast, and very far, which usually means a bigger than normal wave. Sure enough we all looked out to see and a HUGE Monstrous wave was coming. I stood up...Sarah was sitting with us, but Emily had been playing "tag" with the surf--letting it chase her, then chasing it back. I couldn't see her and started walking across the beach to find her. When the wave crashed seconds later, she was nowhere to be found. I called her name until I couldn't talk anymore. I went out on the breakwater and still couldn't see her, on the beach or in the water. The water was calm now, shallow--hardly any waves at all. I walked further along the beach still calling her name and I saw a board, already with three or four pictures of people on it and "Have You Seen Me?" notes tacked on to it. I didn't know what to do--go find the school picture in my wallet that I carry around or go home and get a bigger one......I walked around calling her name as loudly as a I could; then I awoke (I'm thinking I probably was so intense, I woke myself).

Now I can't sleep.

I've always had fears that Emily would be taken from me somehow. This was an awful terrible nightmare. I thought maybe if I wrote about it, I could let it go, and maybe sleep. It's going to be a busy day today trying to go out and find what Scott wants for Fathers' Day, and figuring out how to wrap things before he sees them. This Father's day came upon us without a thing except one card.

Yuck. What a dream.

Ten on Tuesday

2007-06-12T09:00:00.001-07:00

I have some things to post but they will have to wait. Lots of things happening here in our own little 3-bedroom Mankey Kingdom, but I'll post that another time. Plus, come back and read my review of a fabulous book I just finished. Well, I finished it a couple of weeks ago, but have been thinking about it ever since, and that is a good book in my opinion.

Anyway, Last Tuesday's 10 on Tuesday was to come up with 10 occupations I wanted to do when I was young It was too interesting to me to let it completely go unanswered.

Doctor
Nurse
Pilot
Astronaut
Teacher
Super Power
Waitress
Minister (boy has that one changed!)
Professional skier
Professional tennis player

This week's 10 on Tuesday instructs readers to come up with 10 brags about myself. This one may be more challenging for me.

I have nice eyes
I'm compassionate,
Generous,
Patient,
Loving
Humorous,
A gentle touch
Can fix most toys
Volunteer for several organizations (mostly kid-related)
And last, I'm a great cook and party thrower!

Ten on Tuesday

2007-05-29T10:10:00.001-07:00

Ten on Tuesday is back:

Ten Greatest Accomplishments (mine. It would be easier if it were somebody else's)

Being Alive this many years.
My bachelor's degree (with a new baby, a husband and at 39 yrs old)
Sarah (I hope I don't ruin her)
Emily (I hope she keeps her joyful nature)
Staying married for nearly 15 years. (Some said it wouldn't last)
Keeping my dearest friendship with Dianne.
Learning to ski (I am a huge klutz.)
Staying honest (especially to myself)
Being a good friend.
My musical abilities (piano, violin, viola)

My mind is now empty. I need a nap.

Three More from Ten on Tuesday

2007-05-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I said I'd probably come up with a few more at 3am which would replace a couple on my original list...so here they are...

Green Day's Wake Me Up When September Ends, and Peter Gabriel's Don't Give Up, plus Tears For Fears' Mad Worldl--"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad/the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I ever had."

Thanks for posting, Laura.

Charmaine

Ten on Tuesday

2007-05-15T14:00:00.001-07:00

Ten Songs that Make Me Sad

Elton John's Candle in the Wind
Pink Floyd's The Wall
When Somebody Loves You—from Toy Story 2
Suicide is Painless – from M.A.S.H.
Lara's Theme – from Dr. Zhivago
Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven
Air on the G string – J. S. Bach
Johnny Cash's Sunday Morning Coming Down
Dan Fogelberg – Leader of the Band
I'm tired of doing all the research for this question!!

I know there are a few more, but I'm unable to think of them now…I will, tomorrow morning at 3:00am. But I won't change my answers.

2007-05-11T07:17:00.001-07:00

Brain fog. It seems to be a permanent condition with me. I went to a doctor's appointment (the only kind of interview I get anymore) and sounded as if I didn't know what was going on--sounded like an Alzheimer's patient, I'm certain of it.

On my job searching... I got another letter. "We chose someone else, usually because of better qualifications than you have." I was stunned. I am not even qualified for a lousy HR clerk job ("HR support assistant") !!

So, I've determined that I am unemployable (my psyche may not be able to take many more rejection letters). I've applied nearly every day for 6 months and have not even received a phone call or e-mail for one single interview. I quit. Scott will just have to go back to Boeing. I think he's seriously considering after, after one rejection--the company in New Zealand--and no return calls from Dream Works or Sony or wherever else he's applied. He got so down after that one rejection; then I realized he has never been rejected for a job in his life. That's what happens when you stay at the same company for 15 years.

I don't really care where he works, but going to Disney or Dream Works means 80 miles a day, which is 20 miles/gallon, which means $8/day just to get to work and back--$40/wk, $160/month...plus it's wear and tear on him. Sometimes he'd come home and be in the cruddiest mood--barely talking to us, being not nice to the girls when they were just happy to see him.

Ok, now for more of my own personal "May Madness." First, my car cost me $270 for TWO tires. It seems that my year of Honda Odyssey can only take one kind of tire for whatever reason. The good news was they usually cost $150 each. But my friendly gas station owner/mechanic that I've found matched Costco's price at $112 each. But still.

Then, as I wrote above, I had another doc's visit...this time with an ortho guy--a hand specialist. Yes, I need surgery in both wrists. I sure hope it works. Only that means I won't sew, do computer stuff or do my needlepoint for a very long time. I have already lessened my computer use, believe it or not. But the sewing...I don't know if I can do without that. So, in late June or early July, I'll have my left hand done--it's in the worst condition--and after that, my right one. It will be iffy about timing and our insurance. We have it until the end of September, and it may be a 3-month waiting time between surgeries.

See? I'm unemployable.

Good things: the girls are doing great! Em is a Girl Scout Daisy and loving it; we're planning her b'day party with the Daisies, the soccer team and the t-ball team and their families. Not at my house, oh, no. At a big park that provides bounce houses and a little train ride, plus the picnic area in the shade. All for a mere "pittance" of $250.

Money is really on my mind, can you tell? 8^) $250 for one thing, $250 for another--$350 for Sarah's Horse camp this summer (which we registered her for very early in the year, so didn't know of our upcoming financial stress). Pretty soon, you're talking real money! (kidding--$250 is very real money to me). We've committed to camping - camping--for a week, and it will cost $1000! That's because my husband doesn't believe in tent camping. He has to rent an RV.

You know what? He'd better go back to Boeing!

Today, I'm "catering" a lunch for the girls' school staff. That's a pretty penny, but I'll get reimbursed by the PTA for that. I have a bunch of Mexican decorations--sombreros, chili pepper lights and confetti, table decorations, etc. It ought to be very bright and festive. I hope the food is good. I'm not cooking it, so it ought to be.

I need to go...gotta dress and get ready for this luncheon. I still need to get to Costco for flowers, and I think I've decided to make coffee, too, so I need to go dust off the big coffee maker.

Oh—lest I forget—thank you for all the prayers and good thoughts…that fire in Griffith Park was doused in no time! Fire Fighters did a great job there. Now our dear sweet island of Catalina ("26 miles across the sea—Santa Catalina is waiting for me…") is on fire. It's very close to structures, and has engulfed one home so far, but fire fighters are doing a great job of keeping it from the little town of Avalon.

Like I said—fire season is here early this year.

Thanks for reading…

Wildfires

2007-05-08T22:20:00.001-07:00

First of all, the area where I live is fine. Hot, but fine.

Some of our most dear, beautiful, priceless land is on fire. Griffith Park, locally known for beautiful neighborhoods, including one of Frank Lloyd Wright's homes, bridle trails, walking/hiking trails, the LA Zoo, and just general beauty is burning to the ground tonight.

Southern California is having its worst drought in more than 30 years. Today the heat got up to 100 degrees and that was near the coast. Griffith Park is inland about 15-20 miles from the ocean breezes, and was even hotter. I remember a very bad drought when I was about 10 or 12 years old. There were fires all around us. It felt as if we were in the center of a desert fire pit. We could actually see a circle of flames. We were leaving on vacation at the time, and nearly didn't get through the fire ares. I remember crying a little as "my" mountains burnt so wildly.

The neighborhoods have been evacuated, including (I think) dear friends of ours who just finished refurbishing and modernizing their 75 year old home up in those hills.

It's scary--we have these fires to the west of us, and other fires in Yorba Linda/Anaheim Hills about 10 miles east of us.

Our area is not in danger; don't worry about us. But many of our friends may become homeless over this.

It's good to know where the un-replaceable things in the house are, and make sure they are easily reached in case you have to leave in a hurry.

Hmm...it's May, isn't. This is how bad our drought is. Our "red flag" warnings (all fire department crews on 24/7 call, no vacation leaves, all volunteer fire departments at the ready), usually don't start until September. We've been in a constant red flag situation since April.

Give California a good thought, would you?

May I skip the month of May, please?

2007-05-03T20:31:00.001-07:00

Well, May has sure started out, um, interestingly!

I'll start with Scott. A former co-worker of his has virtually begged him to call for a position at Boeing. Since Dreamworks hasn't called, nor has Sony, nor has Disney or the Orphanage or WETA, Scott is seriously considering calling Boeing.

That's not really the "interesting" part.

Last week, Scott contracted a sore throat. It was so bad, that when he lay down to sleep, his breathing passages were blocked and he couldn't breathe through his mouth or his nose. He went to the doctor, saw our Physician's Assistant, and got some antibiotics to take if the results of the culture they took was strep. Meanwhile, he got no sleep, going back from bed to sofa to bed back to sofa trying to sleep and breathe at the same time, and the result of the culture were that it isn't strep.

This past Sunday, he was in pretty severe throat pain, and began "hacking" out bloody mucus (TMI, I know but, well…). I was under the impression that these were pretty serious symptoms and told him he ought to go to Urgent Care or ER and get himself checked more thoroughly. Then he began to have bloody noses on top of that. So, he drove himself over to Urgent care, and they told him it was a pretty strong case of a sinus infection. And that his throat tissues were probably raw and bleeding and perhaps his nose had the same condition.

(Now, Sunday was a pretty busy day for the Mankey family: I had a cake to decorate for the daughter of our friends who earned her Girl Scout Gold Award, and was slated to shoot still photos, and Scott was slated to shoot the video. I was a little worried if we'd make it.)

The stiffness and pain everywhere else in his body started on Sunday, too. Yes, that was in April, but at the end of the month.

Fast forward to Tuesday, May 1. Scott shuffled around like Tim Conway from the Carol Burnett show. He told me his pain was severe; I asked him if he'd be alright while I went to my hair appointment. He said sure—he had his sofa, his meds, some water, the remotes—he had all he needed. Every time he moved, tho, he winced so badly, I wondered if it was wise to leave him.

As I drove back from my hair cut, I got a call from his doctor (with whom I'd left a message in the morning), and simultaneously got a call from Scott, saying he wanted to go to ER.

I got home and we folded him into my car for the ride to ER. When we got there, we were fortunate to be the only ones in the waiting room. The intake nurse called his name and we went into the "triage" room. I add the "surly" nurse. He appeared to have the personality of a cinder block. When I tried to add information, he curtly rolled his eyes and continued completing the intake form. We saw that "body aches" had been written on the form, and tried to let him know it was more serious than this, but he just kept on writing his notes and rolling his eyes. I was quite offended; the wife usually knows a lot about the husband's suffering, especially since she knows the husband when he's healthy. But I shut my mouth, and intended to offer the information to the ER Doc later.

Yes, later. Hours later, after Scott lay in that "table-for-a-bed" in agony, I finally asked for some pain relief. They gave him something, and it didn't touch the pain. I waited for about another 30 minutes, and went out again. That time I lodged a complaint that we hadn't been heard when we described our symptoms. Scott needed a wheelchair to get around in the hospital. The pain was so bad by this time he couldn't walk at all. Getting into that ridiculous bed was a super-human achievement for him.

Finally, somebody listened! The blood test results had come back normal; the nurse asked if he had been able to provide a sample for the urinalysis. He never was asked to do this. So, he did that. Then, after the ER nurse-practitioner (we hadn't seen a real doctor yet—after 3 hours) contacted the ER doc, she came back and said that they would have to take more blood for another culture that would take 48 hours to give results.

Then, they actually gave him some real pain meds and a new antibiotic, plus three prescriptions. I was so relieved; Scott was actually able to walk out of the hospital, at 7:30 pm, after getting there at 1:30.

Yesterday, he was much better, but still had the sore throat challenges. He could at least walk again. I had an errand to run, and the next part is the May 2 "interesting" day.

On the way home, I thought I had a few minutes to visit my parents' grave. I hadn't done that since my father passed, and had never seen the grave marker. Up the hill, into the valley, there I found my mother's grave. It gave my heart a lurch. Then a bigger lurch happened when I realized that my father's marker was no where near where my mom and I were (her grave, my standing there.) Trying to avoid a panic attack, I drove down to the main office and said I couldn't find my father.

After 45 minutes, their research resulted in finding that his body was witnessed and certified to have been buried where it was supposed to be, and the marker placed seven days later. A staff member drove me back up to the gravesites to double check that I was looking in the right place, and well, yes I was.

They had no record of the marker ever being removed for repair or replacement, and with their apologies, said they'd find it or make a new one. A new one would take 4-6 weeks to re-set, so I'll just have to wait.

Awhile ago, I had said that I didn't know why people visited gravesites. Now I know. It's just to make sure they are still there!

Begin May 3. Scott was in some pain again, and I felt funny now. I did my little volunteer thing in Sarah's class and went home. Scott and I had made plans to go to Breakfast at the beach, and off we went. I had felt so "off" that I looked at the coffee pot at home and just didn't want any. As we drove to the restaurant, I felt a rock in my chest (no worries—I don't think it had anything to do with my heart). We sat, ordered, and after just two sips of coffee, I felt like I was going to be very ill, um, one way or the other. After a few minutes, I asked if we could go home, because I was feeling awful. I felt like a rotten person that I got sick at nearly the same time as Scott.

We got home, and I was miserable. Called the doc, he ordered some meds for me, and I went to sleep. I awoke for the last time at around 4:pm, and felt somewhat better. It took all I had to get to the school district meeting I had committed to attending, but I went, and I made it through the whole 2 hr. meeting!

Other than that, everything is great! 8^)

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Ten On Tuesday: Ten Politicians and What You (I) Think of Them

2007-05-02T10:09:00.001-07:00

So it's Wednesday. I was busy (see next post, probably). Sue Me

I normally don't make strong political comments, but misguided or not, these are my opinions.

1. George W. Bush
hypocrite. An un-bright frat boy who wants to look good/smart but doesn't have the brains even to listen to the advisers he chose. Now he's stuck in a corner he doesn't have the intelligence to escape, and he's leaving us in a horrible place, with a horrible reputation through out the world, and he'll still have his hubris. Does he actually think the enemy doesn't read the papers???

2. Dick Cheney
really scary and sort of a tyrannical power monger

3. George H. W. Bush, a very disappointed father

4. Wm. Clinton a very intelligent man who made a few really stupid decisions, and could have one of the best-remembered presidents in US history if not for a hideous personal situation.

5.
Hilary Clinton A brilliant person, one who might be able to run the country well, but won't get the chance.

6.
Elizabeth Hanford Dole,
A gracious, bright star in our political world, who should have re-run for president this year.

7. Ahnold Schvarzteneggah (I live in California)...A man who got in over his head and is doing the best he can with his inlaws' advice and support...has actually done some good stuff for the schools, after making them suffer for a year.

8. Senator McCain
A nice guy who might have been a good president 4 years ago, but now, I'm afraid he's been bought and p[aid for by some party line factions, and I don't know anymore if I can trust him to lead the country. I'd sure like to do that.

9. Prime Minister Tony Blair
eye candy, ear candy, and in a tight spot with his people.

10.
Condoleeza Rice A very brilliant woman who knows where her bread is buttered, and isn't going to do anything that would rock that boat. She's doing the best she can with the leader who has employed her.

On 1 May 2007 08:33:25 -0000, kwannon@gmail.com <kwannon@gmail.com> wrote:

Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Political Figures, and What You Think of Them

2007-05-02T09:25:00.001-07:00

This post was published to Mental Meanderings at 9:23:27 AM 5/2/2007

[Enter Post Title Here]

So it's Wednesday. I was busy (see next post, probably)

I normally don't make strong political comments, but misguided or not, these are my opinions.

1. George W. Bush hypocrite. An un-bright frat boy who wants to look good/smart but doesn't have the brains even to listen to the advisers he chose. Now he's stuck in a corner he doesn't have the intelligence to escape, and he's leaving us in a horrible place, with a horrible reputation through out the world, and he'll still have his hubris. Does he actually think the enemy doesn't read the papers???

2. Dick Cheney
really scary and sort of a tyrannical power monger

3. George H. W. Bush, a very disappointed father

4. Wm. Clinton a very intelligent man who made a few really stupid decisions, and could have one of the best-remembered presidents in US history if not for a hideous personal situation.

5.
Hilary Clinton A brilliant person, one who might be able to run the country well, but won't get the chance.

6. Elizabeth Hanford Dole,
A gracious, bright star in our political world, who should have re-run for president this year.

7. Ahnold Schvarzteneggah (I live in California)...A man who got in over his head and is doing the best he can with his inlaws' advice and support...has actually done some good stuff for the schools, after making them suffer for a year.

8. Senator McCain
A nice guy who might have been a good president 4 years ago, but now, I'm afraid he's been bought and p[aid for by some party line factions, and I don't know anymore if I can trust him to lead the country. I'd sure like to do that.

9. Prime Minister Tony Blair
eye candy, ear candy, and in a tight spot with his people.

10. Condoleeza Rice A very brilliant woman who knows where her bread is buttered, and isn't going to do anything that would rock that boat. She's doing the best she can with the leader who has employed her.

On 1 May 2007 08:33:25 -0000, kwannon@gmail.com <kwannon@gmail.com> wrote:

Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Political Figures, and What You Think of Them

May 01, 2007

This post was published to Mental Meanderings at 9:23:27 AM 5/2/2007

[Enter Post Title Here]

So it's Wednesday. I was busy (see next post, probably)

I normally don't make strong political comments, but misguided or not, these are my opinions.

On 1 May 2007 08:33:25 -0000, kwannon@gmail.com <kwannon@gmail.com> wrote:

Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Political Figures, and What You Think of Them

May 01, 2007

This post was published to Mental Meanderings at 9:23:27 AM 5/2/2007

[Enter Post Title Here]

So it's Wednesday. I was busy (see next post, probably)

I normally don't make strong political comments, but misguided or not, these are my opinions.

On 1 May 2007 08:33:25 -0000, kwannon@gmail.com <kwannon@gmail.com> wrote:

Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Political Figures, and What You Think of Them

May 01, 2007

Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Political Figures, and What You Think of Them

2007-05-02T09:23:00.001-07:00

So it's Wednesday. I was busy (see next post, probably)

I normally don't make strong political comments, but misguided or not, these are my opinions.

On 1 May 2007 08:33:25 -0000, kwannon@gmail.com <kwannon@gmail.com> wrote:

Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Political Figures, and What You Think of Them

May 01, 2007

Ten on Tuesday: 10 Political Figures and What You (I) Think of Them

2007-05-02T09:18:00.001-07:00

So it's Wednesday. I was busy (see next post, probably)

I normally don't make strong political comments, but misguided or not, these are my opinions.

1. George W. Bush
hypocrite. An unbright frat boy who wants to look good/smart but doesn't have the brains even to listen to the advisers he chose. Now he's stuck in a corner he doesn't have the intelligence to escape, and he's leaving us in a horrible place, with a horrible reputation through out the world, and he'll still have his hubris. Does he actually think the enemy doesn't read the papers???

2. Dick Cheney
really scary and sort of a tyrannical power monger

3. George H. W. Bush, a very disappointed father

4. Wm. Clinton a very intelligent man who made a few really stupid decisions, and could have one of the best-remembered presidents in US history if not for a hideous personal situation.

5.
Hilary Clinton A brilliant person, one who might be able to run the country well, but won't get the chance.

6.
Elizabeth Hanford Dole,
A gracious, bright star in our political world, who should have re-run for president this year.

7. Ahnold Schvarzteneggah (I live in California)...A man who got in over his head and is doing the best he can with his inlaws' advice and support...has actually done some good stuff for the schools, after making them suffer for a year.

8. Senator McCain
A nice guy who might have been a good president 4 years ago, but now, I'm afraid he's been bought and p[aid for by some party line factions, and I don't know anymore if I can trust him to lead the country. I'd sure like to do that.

9. Prime Minister Tony Blair
eye candy, ear candy, and in a tight spot with his people.

10.
Condoleeza Rice A very brilliant woman who knows where her bread is buttered, and isn't going to do anything that would rock that boat. She's doing the best she can with the leader who has employed her.

On 1 May 2007 08:33:25 -0000, kwannon@gmail.com <kwannon@gmail.com> wrote:

Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Political Figures, and What You Think of Them

May 01, 2007

2007-04-24T09:04:00.001-07:00

Ten On Tuesday:

10 Things You Like to do Alone—

1. Read

2. Sew

3. Watch chick flicks

4. Drive

5. Exercise

6. Shop

7. Paint (the walls—I'm not an artist in that way)

8. Listen to my favorite music

9. Go to a café and drink coffee

10. Photo shoots (I'm this kind of artist)

2007-04-23T07:56:00.001-07:00

Wicked!

Another B’day Detail

2007-04-17T09:25:00.001-07:00

My Emily just fills my heart with love, joy and all those mushy emotions...

When Scott and I told the girls to change from their play clothes for going out to my b'day dinner, I expected something cute, and I don't know if I actually had any real expectations...

Emily appeared a few minutes later with a beautiful spring dress, green with pink flowers, matching pink shoes and socks and her hair combed beautifully. (She knew the importance of the night!)

We were both so heartwarmed and pleasantly surprised!

This is just one example that you can tell she puts a lot of thought into what others would like. She's going to go far in life.

(((((( Ten on Tuesday Update: 10 Idols/Heroes When You Were a Kid ))))))

2007-04-17T08:52:00.001-07:00

Here's my Ten on Tuesday (a little early for once!)

Batman
President John F. Kennedy
Bobby Kennedy
Martin Luther King
My Dad
My Mom
Batgirl
Superman
Mighty Mouse

Mr. Pearson (4^th grade teacher)

But Wait, There’s More!

2007-04-15T14:21:00.001-07:00

It's been a great b'day weekend for me, and I might even get a job interview call next week. I took an assessment at Cal State Long Beach last week, for Word and Excel. The hiring supv. seemed impressed. It doesn't pay anything at all, but they have a tuition waiver, so my Master's Degree would be free except for the cost of books. The salary would cover car insurance and my car payments on the van. Plus, the position is in HR, so I would see all the job announcements before anyone else, and have a good chance at jobs in the school that actually pay.

My hair looks drastically different, too. I'm bleached and short-haired. Not as short as you, but just barely to my neck. It looks great. I can spike it or curl it, whatever I want.

I have an appointment in May to see an orthopedist for my hands/wrists. It seems I have "severe" carpal tunnel and unnal tunnel syndromes in both of my hands. Other than that, my health seems good--I am quite sure I'm in menopause--the dementia and forgetfulness plus moments of my own personal tropical vacations tell me this.

Let me see, the house looks like hell, but we're working on it. Within the next week or so it ought to be livable again.

Scott is still looking for gainful employment. For now, we are ok financially--he got a decent severance package from The Mouse, plus vacation pay for a month, plus his unemployment will kick in within a couple of weeks. The tax refunds helped too. So, for now, I'm doing the budget, since he has enough stress with job searching, and we ought to at least get through the summer if we have to do that.

Sarah is doing terrific. She got straight "a"s and is in the district wide chorus, plus takes her piano lessons happily. She even practices on her own! She usually finishes her homework within an hour or less, and her teachers all praise her to me whenever they get the chance. (Proud Momma)

Emily is happily rolling along. Such a different temperament from Sarah--we do our best to not compare, but they sure are different kids! She does well in school, has a beautiful singing voice already, and may take singing lessons when school starts next year. We had to take her out of gymnastics, but she still does all her moves at school on the playground equipment. As soon as one of her parents gets employed for money, we'll most likely get her back into gymnastics. She is in t-Ball, and loves it. She plays pretty well, too, for a 5-yr old! She giggles every time she comes home or catches a batted ball, or gets someone out. We get to see her giggling often on game days.

We seem to have emotionally adopted 2 daughters. Emily's best friends live on our street. Kelly and Joyce are terrific little girls, and right in the middle of Sarah & Emily's ages. They are here nearly every day, and we love them. They are so well behaved, so funny, and it is just amazingly good/heart warming to hear the laughter of four little girls in the house. It brings a smile to my heart every time they are here.

Yep--we've been busy, but mostly happily so.

I don't know if that's it, but my hands are going numb, plus I need to get off my butt and finish the playroom/garage project. So, I hope to see you some time soon, and hear from you again some time sooner.

Hugs o love,

Charmaine

Hippo Birdy 2 ME!!

2007-04-15T10:41:00.001-07:00

Hey there!

My Birthday arrived this past Friday, the 13^th of April. Thank you to all who sent cards and even prezzies to me for my day! A lot of people showed me quite lovely thoughtfulness, even though I am a terrible birthday rememberer. I even have one of those "birthday reminder" thingies on my calendars (as well as from American Greetings and BlueMountain). So I am especially grateful when someone remembers my birthday.

My dear littlest daughter gave me a wrist pin cushion to replace one she accidentally broke last week. It is adorable. My oldest daughter gave me a darling apron and matching oven mitt—a gold color with a chicken on it. My dh gave me Wicked tickets!! We go next Sunday afternoon, and will have great seats!! This excites me a great deal!

One of the dearest presents I received was help in the form of 4 little girls (Sarah, Emily, Joyce and Kelly--my two "adopted" daughters from across the street and Em's best friends). They worked very industriously and happily emptying the playroom into the garage and then sorting all the "stuff" into categories.

We did like the organizers on the show Mission Imposs---Organization, and put up signs for "Toss" "Keep" and "Donate"--When we got all that done, there were lots of extra little parts and partial games that needed sorting. The girls sorted toys, games, books, crafts and extras into separate categories on the garage floor. Meanwhile, Scott put the family room home theater back together and we actually have room to walk around that room, the dining room and OUR BEDROOM!!! again!!!

Back to the playroom...you may recall my angst about that room. Long story short, this is the 4th incarnation of that d&&m room and I'm thinking it may stay arranged this next configuration for a long time, simply because I'm tired of re-doing and re-doing and then re-doing it again. I have made the statement before, and I'll make it again. If the room cannot stay neat and tidy with toys put away at the end of the day, anything on the floor by 7:pm will be thrown into the trash. I'm trying hard to get over the fact that the toys were expensive and other things were sacrificed (like buying new underwear for me) so the girls could have them.

But anyway, I am so thankful for the girls' hard work. And believe me, it took all five of us! I may visit Target this afternoon for 4 gift cards.

I must also write about the restaurant where we ate dinner on Friday for my birthday. The restaurant is called Wood Ranch, and if you know of one near you, you really ought to try it. Baby back ribs that melted in your mouth--tri tips that just delighted the taste buds. they had delicious eye-candy salads (and wait staff, too, heh heh heh), and the desserts looked awesome. Since it was my birthday our server brought me a hot fudge sundae. It was so very good. The restaurant was a little noisy, but not so much that we couldn't hear each other.

They also had unbelievably superb mojitos, too! (that though always makes me smile!).

Then, last night, close friends invited us to dinner at their house. Their oldest daughter used to babysit our daughters, and now sometimes their son does. They treated us to a great meal, (a gift card to one of our favorite other restaurants, too!), delicious non-chocolate cake and the grownups played a dice game while the kids watched a movie and played video games. This was one of those "great time was had by all" nights.

Californians don't usually have weekly card/game nights, but a few of us are trying to implement them. My mom's family was raised in Ohio and they did it, and since most of the family moved to California, Wednesday nights became "Card Night" at Uncle Tony's. That is still one of my favorite memories of my family growing up.

So we've talked about arranging a night during the week that's open to whoever wants to come over and play either cards, darts, dice, bunko, or some board game. It will be lots of fun once our house is all put back together.

More about all of us soon, I hope.

Ten on Tuesday

2007-04-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

Ten Memories from High School

Hmm...that was so long ago, I wonder if I can recall more than five, but here's my HS try...

1. MB kissing me
2. Getting hurt while playing softball and not being able to stand up straight
3. Early morning PE classes when the air was cold (October) and clear and I could see my beloved mountains so clear I felt I could almost touch them.
4. Mark Nicholson
5. Steve Walsh
6. Riding around in Peggy's blue '56 Chevy
7. UCRiverside, Gabe Bustamante, and "Our House" (my sweetest memory of HS)
8. After concerts when the woodwinds and brass players would just jam--Great gasps they were good!
9. Dave Feree copying my homework every morning
10. SW calling me "Girlie Girl" right after graduation and picking me up and swirling me around a few times. Now THAT is a great memory!

Ramblin' Wreck of My Mind

2007-04-09T00:48:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write
my mind needs a brain dump
I paid bills instead.

my horrible attempt at haiku

__________________________________________

Spring Break is here!! Hooray! We'll have some time to play! Oh wait. No, tomorrow is that b'day party the girls are going to attend, plus I need to be home and practice my Excel and Word skills and try to finish the laundry.
Tuesday? No, that is when I have my JOB INTERVIEW, and it will exhaust me, since I haven't been on an interview for oh, 15 years. Who'd a thunk I'd have to obtain employment at my age?

Wednesday? well, maybe, but not likely.

Thursday? It's possible...nothing concrete planned (yet).

Friday? Well that's my BIRTHDAY, and besides, Emily has her Daisy troop meeting at 5:pm.

Well, that's the plan for next week.

Bills, severance pay, friends, feeling like I really want to climb into a cave, menopause, not writing to those who are important to me and to whom I am indebted for so much support especially over the past few years (I'm not naming names, but if you've seen me and said "hello" or you've sent an email to me in since 2003, then this means you), pipes leaking, showers leaking, wall cracking, new carpet damaged, bedroom carpet damaged another time, petty little people with no control over their own lives trying to control me, back pain, ankle pain, hand pain, upcoming possible wrist surgery on both hands, just a few of the things on my mind lately that crowd out any creativity for writing. I'm having a LIFE!

Plus, I've just been a bad friend to a lot of people who don't deserve it. Denise--especially--I owe you a huge letter, let alone an email response from New Year's. I'm not mad, just going mad.

On the plus side, and the things I'm so thankful for, my daughters are 90% healthy and happy, my dog is good and my hair looks great! As soon as that picture gets uploaded, I'll post it.

To briefly catch up...

being unemployed and looking for jobs sucks,
Walt Disney World was fabulous,
Our Sarah got straight "A's" on her last report card, got accepted to the all-district chorus for 4th - 6th graders,
Everyone seems to adore our Emily
Scott is getting wayyyy too comfortable being home during the day.
I want to run away and have some true alone time (ironic, I told a girlfriend of mine that I wanted to go up to Colorado for awhile, and she said she'd go with me...and I had even said I wanted to GO ALONE)
Disney employment is over and done for the time being, so don't look for Disney Christmas gifts this year.
Meet the Robinson's is out; we loved it; everyone who saw it that we knew said they loved it; critics panned it. Go figure.
contemplated divorce for awhile; can't afford it now.
We might be able to squeak by throughout the summer financially if unemployment benefits kick in and we really count pennies. So, even if we had planned to come see you, or travel anywhere really nice, we will be home, and can welcome you to visit us. Sorry, no freebies to Disneyland anymore. We have transformed from Cast Members to Out Casts. (there is a great deal of "gallows humor" going around in our household)
It's now 1:am on Monday the 9th of April, 4 days before my next birthday, and what on earth am I doing still awake I ask.
I miss my dad so very much. I miss my mom even more. Have had "issues" and wanted to talk with them for their wise advice but realized they aren't reachable by phone anymore. Can't seem to get them out of my mind at all, even with all of the above happening.

So, good night all you princes and princesses of your home, as well as you kings and queens of your domiciles. Hugs to you, please know that I think of you often and hold you near and dear to my heart.

I know I'm forgetting something, but since I'm forgetting it, don't look here for it. Maybe it's been dropped under my desk. I'll go look...

Ten

2007-04-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

10 things I love about springtime:

1. Fresh strawberries
2. hydrangeas
3. Cala Lillies
4. baby birds
5. The hummingbird nest with little, tiny eggs in my back yard tree
6. my birthday
7. my own increased energy level
8. warm but not smotheringly hot weather
9. the kids laughing as they play and ride their bikes
10. color! greens, pinks, lavenders, yellows and all the pretty spring clothes replacing the drab black beige and brown winter clothes.

VACATION!!

2007-03-06T09:17:00.000-08:00

Tonight we leave for Walt Disney World!!

We'll arrive tomorrow morning, and return home Tuesday afternoon, Mar 13.

I'll try to write a little here and there about the trip, so look forward to stories!

Hugs to all, wish you could go, too...
Charmaine

Ten on Tuesday

2007-03-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

Ten things I'd like to learn how to do

Pilot a plane
play the guitar
sing
paint (artwork)
electrical wiring
carpentry
lay tile
write a novel
manipulate photographs
knit (more than my eyebrows)

Gratitude (and the 5 G's revisited)

2007-02-28T10:11:00.000-08:00

I have often told both my daughters that I want them to live by the Five G's. These are Gracious, Grateful, Generous, Gentle and Good. (The Golden Rule is mixed in there among the five.)

I figure that what's good for the children is also good for me. So, I've determined that I need to work on the Five G's as well.

Recently, on separate occasions, I've been told that I am gracious. It's embarrassing, but it brings me great pleasure to hear that. I know I'm generous--that's why I'm always broke! I try to be gentle. I don't know if I'll ever think I'm good...never quite good enough is my life's experience but that's a story for another time. Now I'm working on Gratitude. Here are five things I am grateful for today:

1. I have a terrific, wonderful, brilliant group of friends.

2. I have two beautiful (inside and out) daughters that constantly bring me pride and joy.

3. I have a bad memory that tends to forget when my daughters do not bring me great pride and joy.

4. My husband is off work for a little while, but healthy, so we get to do a couple of fun things together during the day (like have breakfast or lunch at the beach, alone).

5. Even though dh is not working, his severance package has allowed us to pay the mortgage and my car payments for awhile longer.

Oh, there is one more: I am so very happy and excited and grateful that my longest-time friend Dianne who has had a very tough life for about the last 25 years, just yesterday bought a brand new convertible. I get a vicarious thrill, too...it's the car I want, and now I can ride in it whenever she lets me, plus, I won't have to spend all the money! It's a Toyota Solana. It's beautiful. I'm going to go have lunch with her right now--she's driving!

The Mission Report

2007-02-28T09:22:00.000-08:00

Wow. What a torment to endure for a fourth grader. In California, nearly every 4th grade student, in the process of learning California history, must turn in a "Mission Report." We have the dubious "honor" of being the state that has 21 missions, which brought a certain Father Junipero Serra ("hu-NI-pero Sayra") a great deal of fame, both good and bad.

Students here are assigned either a report or a project--some can be video'd or a model can be built of the mission they've been assigned. In any case, the students and their parents as well as all their family members and neighbors get quite an education on the mission and the whole mission system.

Without telling the whole story, my eldest got assigned the Mission named "Holy Cross" or Santa Cruz. She has worked on this project for about 3 weeks and a few days ago became frustrated, so much so that her voice rose to a very high pitch and she teared up over this report. She was so very worried she'd not get it done in time. I had been helping her; her father had been helping her; but now our assistance intensified--including doing research along with her, printing quotes for her to use, learning how to site web sites in a bibliography, yada yada.

We could not find anything on Mission Santa Cruz's education of children, the music the mission used, or the artwork. (Most of it was stolen during a threatened pirate's raid, that didn't happen, but while all the mission residents were evacuated and hiding, the people entrusted with saving the icons and valuables stole them for themselves!)

So, we took all of our documentation and the report-in-progress to the teacher. Ms. Teacher said, with a smile, "then don't write about that part of the mission." I wanted to punch somebody. Neither Sarah nor I knew that we could omit sections of the assignment. Wouldn't that have been nice in college? Oh, I can't find information, so I'm not going to include that point of my thesis.

So with great relief, Sarah went on to class, and I brought all the paperwork home. She's done so very well on this report, that if she does get it done on time, we'll celebrate with a special dinner somewhere.

On to other things...

Ten on Tuesday

2007-02-28T09:13:00.000-08:00

Well, 10 on Wednesday just doesn't sound right.

This week's Ten is: 10 Things You Would Do if You Were Younger

1. get my Bachelor's degree right out of high school, and my Master's degree right after that. I could be a rich lawyer right now, and ready to retire!

2. get my pilot's license (I still may do this)

3. have two more children

4. acquire career skills that transfer all over the world.

5. work for a company that has world wide offices and transfer. A lot.

6. take that Mediterranean cruise that included beautiful Yugoslavia before the Serbs and Croats went to war.

7. leave the Gas Company a lot sooner than I did.

8. work more on my art and taken the more challenging road.

9. reaching....reaching...find a way to ski more

10. feel better about myself (which if it were #1, all the other things I would really have done.) 8^) I wish the drugs available now had been available then--I could have been a contender!