The Twelfth of May

Today would have been my parents' 48th wedding anniversary. Except two years ago yesterday we buried my mother. Today I visited my mother's grave. By myself. I didn't want distrations from my children to either enhance or detract from my visit.

I found the headstone, the pretty one with a beach and palm trees engraved onto it, and thought about talking to my mom. Then I wondered why people visit graves.

Pragmatically, if the people don't believe in the afterlife, then they are visiting the decomposing remains of their loved one. That wouldn't be a pleasant thought. Does it just emotionally help a person grieving to visit the person's final resting place?

If the grieving believe in an afterlife, then really, would this be the best place to visit? Wouldn't that person's spirit rather be somewhere else? My mom wouldn't be anywhere near a cemetary, that's for certain. She'd be somewhere having fun--finding her old friends who left this earth before her, watching her grandchildren and their activities, something, anything but hanging around with a bunch of dead people's graves.

So, I decided I probably will not visit this place again. Makes me wonder why we spent so much on a headstone, but it is an outward sign of our love and appreciation for her. I'm just glad that during her last few years with us she did finally know that we loved her no matter what, and that we were able to give her the happiness she found in her grandchildren.