Ranting and Raving

Anyway, I woke grumpy this morning...a simple little thing on the computer has turned into a nightmare. I wrote something for Sarah, and tried to print it from my laptop, and it's taken 20 minutes to figure out how to print from MS Works...I intensely dislike that application! So, I had to e-mail it to myself and go to my desktop to retrieve it, save it as a word doc and then print it. I tried to refill a prescription on-line (Walgreens) and it indicated there were no more refills on that prescription; then I realized I have a new script somewhere (my calendar? my wallet? the trash?) to get filled. UGH!

I got to bed at 4:30 this morning, because I needed (my need, no one else's) to finish my scrapbook that I started so long ago. It's our wedding album! We've been married more than 14 years! I finished it, and found out that a few names of Scott's former coworkers from Boeing I got wrong, so I get to work on it some more!

I'm overwhelmed again, and wish there was a pill for it. I've been trying hard to be a calm, good, wife/mom--even have made the beds and done dishes every day...all the laundry, straightening the family room and other rooms every day, so they can come home to a peaceful house (especially for Scott, since he's going through some extra stress right now). I've been paying the bills, re-organizing my "new" desk since Scott took over my beautiful cherry-wood desk with his new computer from work (they've been great to him--sold him a $5k machine for $500, plus 60 days at full pay, yada yada). So my paperwork is a bigger mess than usual, my filing pile is nearly as tall as I am now, and I'm just tired of all that I've put upon myself to do on top of the things I really am supposed to do!

This is why I haven't written long entries to my blog or my mom's list...but I did need this brain dump!

I have all these things written, in my Yahoo calendar, and do I remember to look at my calendar? Do I remember to check my list? Nope--I missed a followup opthamologist appointment for my left eye, and I didn't even care--it was such a low priority by then and I didn't like the doc anyway, so I didn't go.

Then I got the UTI, and some kind of flu with it I think, and took the wrong meds for a week!! Of course when I finally called the doc (I am so tired of running to the doc for so many things, and it's only going to get worse from what I hear from my elders) and got the right meds, I felt better in 24 hrs. So, I pretty much lost a week in my "schedule"--or planned projects. Life goes on.

Today, we're going to our cousins' for an early dinner. I'm making the smashed potatoes, and I made an ice cream cake last night. I now have to make the frosting for that. It's 11:30 already, and I need to do that, get ready to go, and take care of a few things here. I've tried and tried to get into the d*mn garage to get the Xmas stuff put away--it's tricky, and it needs thinning...plus get rid of or re-org the extra things that have been there for a few months (originally it was only going to be 3 weeks--I think that was in September).

I belong to a couple of message boards...I think about logging on and letting them know I'm still alive, but I look at it, think about all that typing, and go for Text Twist or Jewel Quest instead. Does that help me get anything productive done? Nope! But everything else overwhelms and confuses me. I need one of those Mission Impossib--er, Organization--people to come in here and supervise me to get it all done. Somebody that can look at it all without all the mental garbage I have in my head to go along with it.

I joke about Alzheimer's; however, nothing on my plate compares to my bestest, longest-time friend, Dianne. She owns two business, is working hard to keep them both going, and last week, she lost her mom to Alzheimer's. Three days after her mother passed away, her father got some kind of infection, became incoherent and couldn't walk or even stand on his own. He is still in the hospital, docs don't really know what's wrong (but he does, he says "I have a broken heart--you can't fix a brokent heart"). Memorial plans are for tomorrow morning, but if he can't leave the hospital, the family will have to change everything to another time, or figure something else to do. It's a huge group of people to keep on hold, and Dianne is going a little crazy trying to hold it together. Her brother and sisters are doing what they can to "do the right thing" as she is, and it's turning into a fiasco. I wish there was something I could do to snap my fingers and fix it all. But after going through my mother's death and my father's subsequent deterioration, I know there is really nothing I can do.

Wow. This got long. Maybe I ought to think about posting more often.

Thanks for reading, if any of my 8 readers are still around.


I'm going to turn off my fingers now. This was kind of a stream of consciousness rant, and since I've got so much to do, it would be better to just go do some of it.