Ten on Tuesday - redux

See? I told you I'd change my mind. I can't make that list of favorite bands without including Squirrel Nut Zippers, Bare Naked Ladies (Uncle, it really is a great swing/ska band), and Gorillaz.

I love music so much it is terribly challenging to sift out only a top Ten!

Ten on Tuesday

Ten All Time Favorite Bands...
(sort of either random or eclectic in content)

Steely Dan
Eagles
Doobie Brothers
The Clash
Big Audio Dynamite
Pat Metheny Group
Eurythmics (Well Annie Lennox anyway)
David Byrne (Talking Heads)
Johnny Clegg et al
Oingo Boingo

These are who I chose now, at this moment. In ten minutes, however, I'll probably change my mind.

You can probably see I'm showing my age, too.

Wish me Luck!

I found what looks like a great job that nearly pays enough money, and is close enough to home that I could walk to work! I've just finished applying for it online (the deadline for submission of applications is tomorrow, the 26th, er, later today actually at 5:pm).

Please, cross your fingers, pray, think positive thoughts, light a candle, whatever you do for good outcomes of unsure situations that whatever it is, the right thing happens. Just a call acknowledging that I might qualify and could interview would be so very terrific!

I also found another position I'd very much like. It's "Management & Program Assistant" for the Federal Aviation Administration, in the Los Angeles Certification Office (certification of airplane ownership). It also nearly pays enough (and will pay very much enough in the long run), and is only a 15 minute drive from home.

Getting an interview with either one, or, dare I hope--an offer for either one would really help my ego! (and possibly my wallet!)

wish me luck!

Will ya Ever Forgive Me???

Oh, dear. What a huge mistake I made. I knew "eternity" was in the title of Uncle Papa's book, but was too lazy to open it and look for the real title. My apologies, my dear uncle. My humble and profuse apologies!

"From Birmingham to Eternity & the Nine Lives of Papa"/// not "From Here to Eternity"

Uncle Cliff’s Turn

It's my really cool and talented uncle's turn to get a "writeup" in my blog.

He wrote a book. He wrote it with the hopes of creating something so that his grandson would have access to more than just old photos of his grandpa, or Papa.

This book, entitled "From Here to Eternity," is a great read. His life has been anything but boring. From his very young years through his young adult years he encountered many challenges. These challenges could have turned him into a bitter, angry, and perhaps imprisoned man.

My uncle, though, used his endurance of these challenges as life learning lessons. He grew emotionally, and endured more, and became the man we all love (you'd love him too, if you met him).

He tells the story of how he met his wife, my dear auntie. His story of how they met, the beginning of their marriage, the challenges they met and overcome together brought tears to my eyes because of his obvious deep and abiding love for her, and hers for him. When a person sees them now together their love shows so strongly through the twinkle in their eyes when they look at each other. They've taken such good care of each other, they should live forever.

His story of his life gave me an enhanced insight to my father's life, some of which my father would mention with sadness, but would never share the details. Thank you, Uncle for allowing me to know my dad and your brother a little better.

I so enjoyed this book. If I have his permission, I may correct the very few typos and 1 or 2 grammar errors and send it back to him.

Uncle Papa, I love you so much. I've always respected you, have always enjoyed your great sense of humor, and no matter what your age your youthful presence. Thank you for writing it. I appreciate it, and know that my daughters will too, one day when they find it and read it.

Love and hugs,

Charmaine

Areas of Gratitude

So, after that last entry, I see that I need to acknowledge the good and the blessings I have.

I am very grateful that we have a loving family and a great group of friends who share ideas and suggestions to help us, and who have solidly been there for us. I hope we have been and will be there for all of you.

I've been so blessed with two great daughters. They've begun to play well together, help each other, cooperate. They are learning to coexist. Perhaps my continued lectures about how family is always there, how we love each other no matter what, and how friends come and go, they please and hurt has helped them see how to behave together. Friends are usually situational. You make friends wherever you are, be it a soccer team, a softball team, a classroom or other situational. Family, however is always around you, nurturing you with love and food, always cheering for you, deep down inside loving you for no reason at all except that you are.

My husband is more patient than he wants to be, especially with me. He deserves a standing ovation for that; since he starting staying home during the day, he's picked up a lot of the "things to do" around here, and I've been able to fight my demons a little more concertedly (my hope is to reign victorious over those demons or at least annihilate some of them and render the rest ineffective).

We have our home; we're able to keep up the payments so far, and still have groceries, too. I feel deep gratitude for that. We also still have health insurance, which with my upcoming surgeries is a true blessing.

We've kept our sense of humor, though sometimes it gets pretty dark, but we still have reason to laugh and find joy in our situation. How many other families can go to the beach in the middle of the day and play during the week?

Our health is generally good, another great benefit for us for which we are eternally grateful.

I have a sewing machine, fabric and patterns and am able to make Sarah and Emily their summer clothes, and Scott a shirt or two. Plus, I'm able to make gifts for others, saving money and yet giving gifts that reflect a labor of love.

We are able, though not very good at it yet, to grow enough vegetables for our little family of four. I just read about the Victory gardens of the 2^nd World War. The families grew their own veggies and fruit so as not to burden the economy with their needs, and letting the produce go to the soldiers. I know from experience (my parents had 2 green thumbs each) how delectable a fresh picked sun ripened tomato tastes, and that home grown cauliflower can be so much more edible than store-bought. I want that for my children, and we'll try, every year, 'till we get it right.

One of our cars is paid in full; the other car's full payment is not too far off, and when I do find employment, it will be completely paid even sooner.

There are so many more blessings for which I am truly thankful. Our friends and family are of utmost importance to us, though. Our gratitude will never end for that.

A Little Cheese with that Whine?

Here's the latest in the life of Cmaine:

I am overwhelmed by this job search. Now Scott and I are both seriously looking for gainful employment. The company in New Zealand turned Scott down, and so did Dreamworks SKG. He had an interview with a smaller company yesterday, but I'm beginning to get nervous. Boeing hasn't even called him back and it's been three weeks since he heard that they'd "hire him in a minute" if he sent his resume.

Our insurance runs out in September; I'm supposed to have carpal tunnel surgery on my left hand July 5th; I have several sewing projects to get done before then, and now I'm realizing I only have about 10 days to do all of them. But I'm concerned that if Scott does get employed and changes insurance, my right hand will be considered a "pre-existing condition" and won't be covered. I haven't had the nerve yet to find out how much these surgeries cost, but I imagine they are no less than $10K, and that would put us in the poorhouse for sure, then.

My job search? It's a complete joke. I started on December 21st, the day Scott got his notice of lay-off. Since then, I've received the "We have your resume!" letters and several "someone better than you was chosen" letters and emails, but nothing in between. I think I'm up to about 60 applications with no interviews. I did get called for one typing/spreadsheet test, which was very easy and even fun, but that was the "someone better than you" letter.

I look at the openings and job descriptions I see online, and my gut sinks. I don't know how to get a job anymore. There really is an overwhelming number of jobs available, really. I'm sure if I applied to every one of them, there might be a bite from someone. I'm just overwhelmed and tired of the whole process. Did I say I was overwhelmed? 8^) I want to fill out one standard application, one resume, and pass it all around, hoping someone will call. But that's not going to happen is it.

Some of these apps really surprise me. For an admin position, questions on the app are, for example, "Tell us why you feel uniquely qualified for this position" "how much do you know about concrete?"

How many conditions factor in to companies not calling me? Let's see, my resume proves I'm old (well, over 40, anyway). I've been out of the paid workforce for nearly 12 years. My degree is rather recent for someone my age. And they haven't even seen my face yet!

I've been referred to so many different organizations...one position seemed perfect for the City PD, part time, mornings, and a continuous applications process. I hit the apply button and got a "position closed" message. Another organization had several openings; the location was convenient, qualifications required fit me, yada, and when I hit the "job description" button, I got a "file not found" message for all of the jobs for 3 days in a row.

One position has today for a deadline; it's for the city of Long Beach, CA--offices right on the beach in the regentrified portion of downtown, not far from the Queen Mary and near the Long Beach Grand Prix track. This city not only doesn't have an online application, it requires that one send a "letter of interest" and a resume, and then if they want you, they'll send you an application, which will say the exact same things as the letter and the resume. The deadline is today at 5:pm, so I still have time if I can get out of my funk to do this one.

I haven't really interviewed for about 20 years. I don't even like it that I can remember that far back and I was an adult then!!

I'm whining? yes, probably. But this has all led me into a blue funk that I'm dredging mud from the bottom to climb out of.

My job experience? I've edited, proofread, typed correspondence, written correspondence, troubleshot pc software and hardware issues, installed and maintained pc software and hardware, worked with executive as well as mid and entry management staff, gave admin support to staffs bigger than 70 members, given work direction to employees of lower classifications. I've done library research as a research assistant for three different libraries. I've taught pc operations, software applications, business behavior, office organization, interview techniques, resume preparation, research methods, and even medical terminology as well as typing. I coordinated three (3) logistics nightmares, er, moves for departments of varying sizes, including combining three departments from three locations into one happy family location, supervised the re-connection of all electronics, stayed at the company for the whole d*Mn weekend to make sure that everything was set up and running by Monday so that all everyone had to do was unpack their boxes. Production losses? NONE. I performed a cost/benefits analysis for a department to find the best use scenario for the new more powerful computers that had been ordered. I increased productivity--the numbers were never shared with me, but the managers were very happy with how their staff now had computers that matched their abilities and worked smarter, better and faster than they had done before I did the analysis. I worked with a committee to select the lap tops purchased for company-wide use. This doesn't count the school supply company, the concrete/cement company, Caltrans experience I have. All of the above jobs I've done have been under the classification of "administrative clerk." Go figure.

Somebody better than I am got these jobs?

Oh--and while I wasn't "working" I began raising two children, volunteered for and let a Moms organization, a preschool boosters group (where I actually recruited and selected members of the board, raised nearly $3000 for a storage shed, and coordinated two huge fund raising events for this, and additionally helped in the preschool classroom. I volunteered for the PTA, oversaw all the volunteer parent room helpers, contacting people from each of the 20 classrooms to head the room volunteers, coordinated their activities, trained them for form completion, policies and disseminating information as needed from the PTA board and the principal. From that, I was elected to represent the parent community on the School Site Council, and from that, I was elected for a two-year term to represent the School Site Council on the District Advisory Committee, the liaison between the community, schools, and the school board. That doesn't count being the list administrator for 10 years for a group of professional, totally terrific moms who all gave birth to perfect children within the same month.

So, um, how do I start a letter of interest to be a clerk typist?

When I see a job position for just about anything, from typist, to technical writer, to secretary to dog watcher, I qualify. I know I do, but get these 30-somethings to give me a chance. I still have a good 20 years of work left in this old crotchety mind...how bout letting me contribute.

Do I want to go back to work? I'm ambivalent. I think I'd love it. Truly I do. But I'd miss my girls so very much--that would take some time to get over. This is why I think the best compromise is to find something within a few miles of their school, so that at least day care would not be for so long, and perhaps I'd have time to bring them lunch every once in awhile. I'd also be able to afford the housekeeper. Then even Scott would be happy. If I do get full time work, though, I know of nobody, paid or not, who will pick up my children from school, take them to piano lessons, soccer practice, singing rehearsals, and the like.

I was reminded by a good friend how my life has been for the last 5-10 years. I returned to school, gave birth, achieved my bachelor's degree, gave birth again, gave care to elder parents, got through my mother's death, grieved over that tremendously, gave care to my father for the next three years, advocated for my father, administered my mother's estate, found living arrangements for my father, made sure he got to see his granddaughters as much as possible, took him on little field trips so he could get some sea air, made sure he got the care he needed for his illnesses, advocated for him with all of his doctors. I found his doctors for him, since his were all 85 miles away. All this time I had two small daughters and a husband and a house to try to keep running and show that I care. I got through his death, and felt some relief, and then after just a few months, real grieving began, complete with regrets. At least I had only a few with my mother. There were many for my father. I did my personal best, which wasn't anyone else's personal best, so that made me feel as if I gave him inadequate care. Now don't go saying that "you were a good daughter," blah blah...I know I did my best. It just didn't seem good enough even at the time.

All that time, I've dealt with my own health issues, as well. I don't even tell my husband about them all...he's tired of hearing about it. I've had 3 surgeries (2 c-sections and gall bladder), and get to look forward to 2 more. Plus, I'm old--for each decade I've lived I have 1.5 pills to swallow. Some for pain, some for supposed energy, some to just get through the day, and one to counteract some of the side effects of the others.

What's the reward? one year later nearly exactly, we are both out of work and income. I'm overwhelmed with the job search, trying to lose weight so that I'll look presentable for an interview that may never happen, doing more projects at home (making gifts, e.g.) to save money, and trying to keep two kids entertained all day and hope they forget they wanted to attend several summer camps this year. Piano lessons will probably stop for the summer; although Sarah really does need something to do to spend her time. Going to the beach here costs $10 for parking--we might have to "create" a beach in our back yard. Gas is $3.20 a gallon, so travel, at $70/tank, will be limited. Thank goodness we've already paid for the trailer we are renting to go to Lake Tahoe for the last week of the summer!

Then, in September, when the insurance runs out, the severance money runs out, and we are down to our paltry savings, the girls return to school, where we all know the dollar hemorrhage begins again...$25 for each soccer team, new cleats, new uniforms, piano lessons again, "contribution" to the school, PTA, teams, etc. ad nausea.

So, if I have seemed distant, impersonal, not as warm and fuzzy as I want to be, perhaps this explains in a little way why.s

I'd better quit now, or I may find a way for Scott to inherit my life insurance! (kidding)

Ok, Ok, that's enough for one mouthful. I think I'll get dressed and go for a walk in the nice warm sun.

10 Favorite Movies to Quote

1. "There ain't no rules in a knife fight" (Paul Newman from Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid) "I can't swiiimmmmm" (Robert Redford from Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid)
   
2. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die." (Mandy Pantinkin, Princess Bride)
   
3. "We all f_*_ up our children somehow dahlin'; it's just a mystery how we did it." (The mom , Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood)
   
4. "Multipass." (Lila Davidovich, The Fifth Element)
   
5. "Be the Ball" (Woody Allen, Ants)
   
6. "You are my density" (Crispin Glover, Back to the Future)
   
7. "I love the smell of Napalm in the morning" –with variations on the scent smelled--(Robert Duvall, Apocalypse Now)
   
8. "Zed's dead, baby, Zed's Dead" (Bruce Willis, Pulp Fiction)
   
9. "I love you too, Pumpkin" (Mercedes Reuhl, Pulp Fiction)
   
10. "This is a fi- dollah milk shake? You got to be kiddin' me!" (John Travolta, Pulp Fiction) and the one about "A royale with cheese—What do they have at Burger King? I don't know, I didn't go to Burger King.)
    

Sneaky way to get in more than 10, eh? 8^)

A nasty Dream

hi--



We've had a great weekend--Sarah, Emily and I went on a Girl Scout excursion all day yesterday.  We took a train to the 4th California Mission, San Juan Capistrano, took a guided tour of the whole place and wandered around.  We ate at Ruby's Diner--a hamburger joint somewhat like Johnny Rockets, but less expensive, played tag at a park (yes the grownups played too).  We went on a treasure hunt back at the mission, and toured the old pueblo town across the rr tracks.  Then we took the train back home.  Some of us went to dinner together at a pretty good coffee shop on the way home.    All in all, we were gone from home about 14 hours.  Scott had a pretty good day himself, getting the house to himself to do whatever he wanted (early Father's Day gift?).



I went to bed early.  I awake from an awful dream at 3:30, and now I can't sleep.  The dream was that I group of us, families, went to the beach to see some unusual waves.  The kids played in the shallow part, and the adults sat pretty close to the shore to watch the kids and the waves.  Suddenly, the water receded from the shore, very fast, and very far, which usually means a bigger than normal wave.  Sure enough we all looked out to see and a HUGE Monstrous wave was coming. I stood up...Sarah was sitting with us, but Emily had been playing "tag" with the surf--letting it chase her, then chasing it back. I couldn't see her and started walking across the beach to find her. When the wave crashed seconds later, she was nowhere to be found.  I called her name until I couldn't talk anymore. I went out on the breakwater and still couldn't see her, on the beach or in the water. The water was calm now, shallow--hardly any waves at all. I walked further along the beach still calling her name and I saw a board, already with three or four pictures of people on it and "Have You Seen Me?" notes tacked on to it.  I didn't know what to do--go find the school picture in my wallet that I carry around or go home and get a bigger one......I walked around calling her name as loudly as a I could; then I awoke (I'm thinking I probably was so intense, I woke myself).



Now I can't sleep. 



I've always had fears that Emily would be taken from me somehow.  This was an awful terrible nightmare.  I thought maybe if I wrote about it, I could let it go, and maybe sleep. It's going to be a busy day today trying to go out and find what Scott wants for Fathers' Day, and figuring out how to wrap things before he sees them.  This Father's day came upon us without a thing except one card. 

 

Yuck. What a dream.

Ten on Tuesday

I have some things to post but they will have to wait. Lots of things happening here in our own little 3-bedroom Mankey Kingdom, but I'll post that another time. Plus, come back and read my review of a fabulous book I just finished. Well, I finished it a couple of weeks ago, but have been thinking about it ever since, and that is a good book in my opinion.

 

Anyway, Last Tuesday's 10 on Tuesday was to come up with 10 occupations I wanted to do when I was young It was too interesting to me to let it completely go unanswered.

 

1. Doctor
   
2. Nurse
   
3. Pilot
   
4. Astronaut
   
5. Teacher
   
6. Super Power
   
7. Waitress
   
8. Minister (boy has that one changed!)
   
9. Professional skier
   
10. Professional tennis player
    

 

 

This week's 10 on Tuesday instructs readers to come up with 10 brags about myself. This one may be more challenging for me.

 

 

1. I have nice eyes
   
2. I'm compassionate,
   
3. Generous,
   
4. Patient,
   
5. Loving
   
6. Humorous,
   
7. A gentle touch
   
8. Can fix most toys
   
9. Volunteer for several organizations (mostly kid-related)
   
10. And last, I'm a great cook and party thrower!